The second date and more reasons to to...laugh??!!!! OMG!

So the second date.
We went and had dinner. I drooled on myself.
LOL!
Yep, I just laughed and made fun of myself – why did I do this??? I was just talking in between eating and it just happened. I couldn’t see it but I thought how typical!!!!!!!
OMG! It was a funny moment and I did make him laugh a few times. I think when you can laugh at your self it’s an icebreaker. I laugh now thinking about it.
So then we go to the movies and we sit side by side it’s not so awkward, it’s ok.
After a bit he put his arm around me and I fitted under it nicely.
He went to kiss me once during the movie… but hears the thing we watched KOKODA the movie. So blood, guts, war and death. He went to kiss me and I was beyond not into it because I really wanted to watch the movie and someone’s on the screen dying and crapping everywhere – ya just don’t want to – ya know what I’m saying?
So anyway I drop him off home and we kiss (again not anything to write home about) small nice. Then he says – “I’ll call you”
“Will you really?”
“Yeah!” looking surprised that I asked
“You know I’m not wanting anything serious. I’m not into the casual sex thing – is that ok?”
“Yes”
“Really??”
“Yes”
I smile “Ok, then…”
What more can I say???
He’s nice enough, no spark but I don’t know him very well.
He’s very reserved. It’s almost like he can’t feel like himself around me yet. You know sort of on edge, doesn’t want to say or do anything wrong.
I say, “What do you feel like for dinner”
“What ever you feel like” - I feel like he’s treading very carefully.

A little devious smile creeps across my face… it’s Eve. I think of he’s passionate, steamy kisses. The ones you just want more of…. you can’t get any closer….
I’m not comparing the two because they are very different. I guess my stomach flip-flops thinking of Eve’s passion – It’s the sort of rip your clothes off and let yourself go on each other…. (Enter small smile) Well – looks like that won’t happen again.
I text him last night to see how his job interview ended up …. A small part of me was wondering if he was going to take it further. He didn’t – probably a good thing….
I guess.

I better go to sleep – there goes my curfew – it’s 11.20pm.I get up in 5 and a half hours!

I have to admit – I’m feeling very happy at the moment…I like being single – I don’t consider myself taken…. Single life is defiantly a better option for me now…
Everyone likes a little attention….. :)

Dreams are stupid things!

Gareth sent me a text
“Hey spunky ;) hope I didn’t make you tired today”
“Hey, I got over it but going to bed super early tonight to make up for it”

I was STUNNED that he even wanted to contact me!
I thought I well and truly turned him off. The whole Christian thing, talking before thinking and a mouth that wouldn’t shut up because I was so tired!
I was quite surprised to say the least!

Today at work another person is sick, I felt really average today.
I want to go for a run. Maybe that will help…
It feels weird not to take Damon, he’s still confined to the house with his stiches.
I better go before it gets to late. I might go to the gym… Nah

I had a stupid dream last night. In my dream I was looking at a pregnancy test and it showed the dreaded two lines. I was stressing so much. I kept thinking I’m going to have to tell Eve and I’ve ruined my life. I had to tell Eve so I went to his apartment and showed him the test and he said “is it mine?”
I was soooo angry! Just that he thought that I slept around! So I tell him very madly that it was his and I couldn’t believe that he thought I was like that. I was really annoyed that he thought that of me!
Then it went back to me having to tell him again and he didn’t say anything.
He wanted me to keep it and I thought I’d leave it when it was born then I didn’t want it – It was a really bad nightmare! Needless to say I’m not pregnant.
I have weird dreams. Maybe it’s because Sara’s pregnant and I saw my friend’s baby for the first time on Sunday. Yeah that’s it.
Also it’s my biggest fear in life. More then Hights.
Also I’ve unnecessarily insulated myself, so much so, that I’m busting at the seams!
Gross.
Mmmmm....Stuffed capcisum for dinner....
How's that run looking????

This time in a month from now

One month today till my 25th birthday.
I remember when Jack turned 25 - he wasn't to impressed.
Me - well, I'm loving life.24.
"What are you going to do on your Birthday?" Andy asked (work mate)
"Nothing"
"Youv'e got to do something"
Truth is A) I can't be bothered doing anything I'll be to tired as it's on a Thursday but more so - I have no friends.
Let me re phrase that. I have "friends" but they all have partners babies etc and no point in trying to get them out. They don't go out!
So I'm looking forward to my 25th year. Glad to be single (regardless of my last post) This is right now -and happy where I am in life.

BUI - (Blogging under the Influence)

What’s better?
A Christian ho does the wrong thing but believes in God or a non-Christian that does the right thing but doesn’t believe in God?

Gareth is not a Christian. He want’s to see me again. We kissed. Sounds stupid but it wasn’t a long kiss just like a few quick kisses on the lips.
It was ok. Nice even but his not a Christian.

I want someone who believes in God. Who I can pray with, talk with and not feel like I’m talking to someone who they think isn’t really there.
Sigh.
Eve. I felt a little like…a sigh. I don’t know. He’s a Christian – Yes we slept together but I liked that. It’s what I needed.
What he needed.
Sigh.
Gareth? Well he seems nice. I have a feeling that I talked his ear off tonight.
“So your pretty into Christianity”
“Yeah, it’s part of who I am”
I couldn’t be who I am today without my strength in God.
I just want someone who can share this. Who I can talk to and be on the same wavelength. Pray with and not feel like it’s a weird thing to do.
I want this but I also want the feel of another person. The care and contact of someone.
Hey I’m only human.
I know I’m contradicting myself but this is what makes being a Christian so hard.
I want respect yet I like to flirt with danger.
I want to do the right thing yet I also want to do the “wrong”
I don’t want to lead people on yet I want to feel that kiss.
I want to be good yet I want the “bad”.
I don’t want to sleep with anyone else. Really I don’t.
But I wouldn’t mind Eve again and that’s because he’s the second person for me to give myself to and I don’t want a third on my journey to finding Mr Right.

I know I’m contradiction myself in the biggest way possible but this is part of what makes being a Christian hard.

Did I have a couple of drinks tonight? Yes, yes I did.
Could that have tipped you over the edge to kiss Gareth? Possibly.
Are your leading him on? I’m not going to sleep with him or marry the guy!
Are you leading him on?? Maybe.
Should you see him again? Probably not
Why? I’d kiss him again
Is that a bad thing? Well not at the time but it’s making a date into more of a … situation to be…
Blah.
Am I typing without thinking first? Yes, Yes I am.

I want Eve. I want the closeness, not only psychical but I want to be wanted by someone.
Hey, I’m only human.

Am I very tipsy? Yes, Yes I am.

Goodnight my fellow bloggers.

Fourteen hours...

Fourteen hours.
My eyes are heavy.
Work at Mk’s was really busy all day. My hands were freezing and I had no gloves.
I finished there and I was really tired. I had another 7 hours to go on the phones.
I did work but not as much as normal. I called a few people and they were the staff I knew so I was able to chat to them. Then I called on one of the staff that was off work on work cover so I called him to see how he’s going and where he’s at.

I’m tired. I do dumb things when I’m tired. At Mk’s I was sweeping up the hair put it in a pile in the middle of the floor then picked up the broom and put it away.
Walked back out looked at the hair for a sec and thought what was I doing? Oh yeah.

I might go on that “date” tomorrow…
I’m not playing hard to get, I just work, sleep and work some more at the moment.
I told him I’m going to church tomorrow.
It’s a start. I don’t know what he’s thoughts about Christianity are but I need to tell guys some how without being to up front that I’m Christian – just so they think about it and have an idea where I’m coming from.

I’m to tired to be talking or blogging.

Don't JUDGE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Judging people.
Whatever.

To me everyone I meet is wonderful.
I get to know people then I discover what I like about them.
Faults? Everyone has them! It’s just a matter of accepting them.
Hears the thing.
I would never ask someone “What is she/he like? Nice?”
OMG!
Make up your own mind!! Be independent! Don’t be influenced by someone else! GOD!
Who are they to say whether someone is nice or not!!!!! Honestly!!!!!
That REALLY makes me angry! Automatically if something negative is said about someone it puts a negative blanket over him or her. They don’t have a chance! I shake my head now – unbelievable!
What makes me write this? We have a few new girls at work. One was put on about two or three weeks ago (Paula) and then Jess was put on Monday(?)
So today Paula says to me in the lunchroom in front another staff member “What’s she like, is she nice?”
“No, she’s not – at all”
She looks at me for a sec then realises I’m being sarcastic and goes off on a tangent about how bad she is – joking of course.
I shake my head “No, she’s really quite nice.”
And Jess is. I find her lovely.

You just shouldn’t judge people. Form an opinion fine - just get to really know them before that.
Make the opinion yours not one that’s influenced by someone else’s.

Maybe after a very busy week my patience on a Friday afternoon is limited. It was soooooo busy!

So the dreams started

So it was really timing with Eve last night.

I was going there purely because I wanted to.
He was all into the I won’t give her attention and see what happens sort of thing – well he was close to getting nothing to happen but then I figured just do what you want. So I did.
We talked afterwards. I saw him looking at me twice… but I think he just wanted to see if my eyes were open or closed.
I was glad I went – I had really weird dreams. So real and I woke up feeling embarrassed because I thought that Eve’s father and mum were in the room and had “caught us” and I was naked! Glad I realised it was a dream.

It’s a situation of … enjoyment?
He’s in his circle of sex, guilt space then he goes and does it all over again.
Whatever. I'm just me.
He won’t have any contact for a couple of days then he’ll send me a message.
I go because it’s what I want.
I wouldn’t sleep with anyone else for a very long time. It’s just that I think it’s better that I didn’t and I don’t want to.
Last night he would touch me like when he was sleeping and would roll over his foot would touch mine or his hand would touch my arm.
It was nice. Real nice.
I liked it.

I’m to trusting. The girls at work laugh at me and I laugh at myself. I’m so gullible!

I better go to bed. It’s my last 9 till 5 tomorrow for a while.

Talk about timing!

I’m going insane!
A small – ok big part of me wants Eve to contact me again but only a very small and it’s a VERY small part says no don’t.
Dam it! Dam dam dam!
No.No.No.
Doh! DohDoh! Dam!

Ok.

Breath –In…and out…
Better.
;))

I have got the want to travel again; Thea wants me to travel with her.
I can’t see out of the debt I’ve got myself into!
Bills, bills and more bills!
I’m going to have to really cut down. Massively cut down. From next week I get paid once a month.
I can budget really well but I’m going to have to be really strict now!
Once a month!!!

Eve just text me…..
Timing! WTF!

I think I blog a little to long and to much

So yeah – I’ve been thinking about Eve.
I text him today saying good luck for his interview today and I posted the letter.
I wanted more I deserve more. At the start I only wanted the physical side but it turned, later when we met up again it was me wanting more then getting over it and it became physical.
Then it turned again and I got to know more about him and it was a little harder.
I think inside me it was more that he wanted me.
That’s what it came down to.
He didn’t care about me I just filled that gap of need – satisfaction.
The more I told myself that, the more I could accept it and well, try and do the same.
It’s really hard. I tried but I couldn’t help but to care for him.

So today what do I do?
Well I was also thinking about Gareth today.
I spot him when he walks past the shop on a Saturday morning a few times.
He’s hung around for a while and put himself out there. So because he tried again on Saturday I thought I’d make the effort and say ok.
I thought I’d make it real casual meet him where he plays pool (snooker?)
Stay for awhile then be back home at 8.30 / 9ish
I sent him a text message (hate it but it’s ok) He sent one back saying that “it would be way past my curfew but he’ll make it up to me with dinner and a movie.”
So because of my working hours we decided to wait until next week. He finished up with “looking forward to it good night”
So this is going to be a “date” – great.
Feel my enthusiasm.
… I’m a bit apprehensive… being a Christian and all.
It’s just easier with Eve.
It’s easier to know the person before hand.
I feel myself saying, “Just shut up. It’s a date not a marriage proposal! Relax and just enjoy it for what it is.”
I actually remember that my first few messages I sent to Eve “It’s a drink not a proposal!”
Yeah- look where that got me!

I called work tonight and told them that I would take the 9 till 2 full time position.
Socially I don’t think that I will ever be able to see past 9pm again but it will be good.
No Saturdays.
I’m also snowed under with bills and a fine for $105 I got while I was at Eve’s the other night.
Damon cost me $358 at the vets because he had to have surgery because a little lump turned grossly big and Yuk.
That and about $460 worth in bills…Doah!!!!!!
I should be on top of it in two or three weeks but what timing!

I better go to bed. It’s getting late – 7.45pm!!! I’m a Nanna!

Sex in the city

Well that's what it is. Or what it was.
Ok, I just hope that I can hold out.
Dam. I had a nice alcholic beverage and I want Eve.
I want him.
Dam it.
Yes I delated his number but I still have some messages...
I want him again. I lasted less then 24 hours.
This will pass. I just have to hold out.

This may take awhile

I was working yesterday hairdressing first,
I was cutting hair and I hear a familiar voice say “No, I’ll wait for kaz”
I peaked in the mirror and it was Gareth.
He still comes in! I have to give him ten points for that. After giving a chick your number and her never calling yet you still go back and get your hair cut…
Well It’s persistence.
I thought he got over me. The others have cut his hair in the past but now he wanted to wait for me. We got talking and it seemed he had some 26yo girl call him at 3am the previous night wanting him to go out and meet her at a pub.
He said no. He was a bit more talkative yesterday I felt like we could actually talk instead of having that “will she or won’t she see me” type feeling.
But he tried again, it was funny he said “Since I’ve been single I get women but there’s always something wrong with them. That one thing. I feel like that Sinfeld (I can’t spell it) He smiles and says something like “there never the ones you want…
So what are you doing tonight – oh your working aren’t you”
“Yeah”
He gets up to leave – looks at his phone and says, “You know I’ve been waiting for that call, we never did go for that drink”
Ha! Well geez – I smiled and said “Yeah, I know but you know, work … I know… I haven’t forgotten, I’ve still got it”
He smiles and gives me that we could go out look and I say
“See ya and have a nice weekend”
Really, he didn’t say how he’s hung over and tell me about how drunk he got whenever he went out.

So I thought about meeting up with him after work at around 10.30pm
As I was thinking about Gareth my phone starts ringing.
It’s Eve.
“Hello”
“Hi, What are you doing?”
“I’m at work”
“Till when?”
“Another hour”
“Oh – do you want to come round and watch a movie?”
“huh?? Movie?”
“ Ben’s hear and we’re watching movies”
Ben, being his 11yo son.
So I think well, nothing would happen because Ben’s there.
Yeah – why am I so Naive??!
It was just as before. I said no because I knew he didn’t want to yet in the end I wanted to.
Sam was put to bed as he fell asleep during the movie and we were together yet again.
Afterward I got up to go thinking that what’s the point in staying as he doesn’t care we did what we wanted to. It’s so hard to leave especially when he says don’t leave, talk to me.
So I stayed and talked. In the end I left. I kissed him on the cheek and said
“I’m going to delate your number. I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t want you to get hurt so it’s better that this stops.”
I had tears prick my eyes and yes I find it hard to let go but it has to be done.
He says that he is in a constant circle of sex, guilt, and space then all over again.
Also he had a one-night stand before me that he told me about last night.
I asked because at the start he told me he hadn’t. Then he now tells me it was a one-night stand and he never saw her again.
“Great – well I hope she had nothing wrong with her!” I got instantly angry.
He LIED TO ME!!!! FROM THE START!!!
LIED!!!
I got over the initial shock and figured it’s best to forget about that.
So now?
Well – That’s it. No more. I deserve more then what he gives me. Yes it was just sex for a long time but now I find myself thinking about him rather then taking Gareth up on his offer – It has to stop.
I can do it.
It’s just hard.
I say no but I’m easily mislead by him.
He told me I could stay and sleep on the couch cos Ben was in the bed – I had been awake for 22 hours.
“I’ll go home.”
What would an 11yo think to the woman on the couch in the morning?!
Something like “what’s she doing still hear” – I don’t want to get him involved.
That wouldn’t be fair.
So I had the very tired drive home. I was going to send him the last text when I got home but I fell asleep while writing it.

Now what?
Hmmm.
Send a letter…
I’m thinking letter.
Just a nice one that will maybe help him in some small way.
Yeah I’ll do that. I don’t feel like I need closure but I want him to feel…
Good about himself.

Permanant position...

So I had to go into work today and have a general meeting.
It’s my day off but oh well.
I was pulled aside by Gabberilla and she said “I just want to have a quick word”
Oh no – I thought “Is this going to be bad?” (I had to know)
“No,no – Your doing a good job even Sue said you are, and that’s good coming from her -We were wondering if you wanted to go on to full time permanent?”
“Oh! – really? – um – It’s less money isn’t it?”
“Not by much and you get holiday pay, sick leave”
“Yeah but I don’t like to use that”
“I know”
I explained how I need Fridays off and how I get tired.
“We can try and work around that – do you want to think about it?”
“Yeah, I’ll think about it and get back to you”
So I thought about it. It’s a permeant position. Stability. Holiday pay.
The hours are great I like finishing in the afternoon…
I like what I’m doing….
I like the people I work with…
I get really tired by the third day… then I need a day off.
I could still pick up a shift on a Saturday…
Really – I think God is saying take it. It just seems like it’s something I should do.
Another good thing is that I could finally get myself into a routine. I felt myself getting into it this week. The only thing I think is that I do end up going to bed at 7pm. It feels like 11pm.
I’ll take it. There are so many positives and I like it :)
Then I went into the other meeting with everyone else.
I was waiting for the topic of work wear to arise but it didn’t.
I think I was waiting for it because I get up at 5am and slip into my green comfy pants which have the really wide leg (or a skirt with tights) I wear my brown boots that are nicer then ug boots but look similar a red fluffy neck skivvy type thing with my pink jacket black fingerless gloves and shove a beanie or hat on my head to cover up that I haven’t done my hair and I wear no make up. I guess you can say I roll out of bed and make my way to work.
Nothing was said; it was a very positive meeting.
I’m glad I’ve made up my mind. I feel more positive about it.
I’ll be able to get into a routine as for my social life – well - since I got sick it’s been non-existent so I guess that won’t change.
I’ll probably will have to stop or change small groups, I like the one I’m in but – oh well.

So you say...

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Weeks

You're out enough to meet plenty of guys And it shows, because a few are interested in you Even if you haven't meet the right guy yet He's standing just around the corner :-)

When Will You Meet Your Next Boyfriend?

Ha Ha - yeah - right.

You look funny

I feel sooo happy at the moment!
I’ve had a really busy day today, it was crazy and under staffed.
I stayed on for Two hours after my eight-hour shift that started at 6am.
I think I got so tired that in my delirious state everything became amusing.
I have no patience. After explaining a very simple thing to one of the new girls I gave up and said I’d do it myself and just laughed it off and apologised to her for sounding mean or awful but really – she didn’t get it and I was over trying to explain it.
I don’t think she ever really got it.
I giggle still. I am. I’m delirious!
At least it’s a laugh!
I still laugh about that Robert - Robot thing! LOL!!!!
Ahhh!!! :)

The song that came to me about Eve is working out ok, it’s almost sounding like I can put it all together :)

Ange who I meet up with and we walk our dogs together said that I looked really good- that I’ve got more colour in my face and stuff like that.
I think when you’re happy it shows.
Is it any wonder?
I’ve managed not to see Brother for over a week and that in it’s self is worth rejoicing about!

Best be off now :))

Te heh hehheheheh - yeah I said it!

I’ve had early mornings and early nights. I sleep, eat occasionally and work.
I haven’t been watching T.V - internet a little, but less and less.
I had everyone in stiches today! At work and on the phone,
I told a staff member on the phone a clients profile – “ Suzie used to be a….
Robot???? – huh…???” there was a silence – one of those - huh? Moments.
Everyone around me was in hysterics. Considering that we deal with people with all sort of disabilities – I wasn’t sure what to think then about three seconds later I switch on – “Oh! RobERT!!!” I laughed so much and loudly one of the girls hit me in the arm to keep it down, the staff I was talking to was laughing even when I managed to stop! Then I had to regain myself and the girls around me kept laughing.
I laugh now just thinking about it! It’s one of those Dumb moments.
At least I can laugh at myself! – Ya had to be there!

Then I talked nearly non stop and was glad when I went hairdressing at Mk’s – you get to speak as much as you want – (and listen of course ;) ) to those you cut.
It was fun.
I kinda made fun of one guy who had an ear infection of sorts – he was very – what would you say… docile…? He ended up having a laugh, mission completed.

Sux being a woman sometimes.
At least I’m not hung over anymore.

It's a disgrace!

Ok already! Isn’t it enough that I know that I shouldn’t have got drunk and washed my liver in alcohol, yes I know it’s wrong to mix drinks, yes I know it was a bad idea to go and do that when I’ve obviously been sick.
And now. Well my little liver you have reminded me since Thursday that I should lay off the sweet nectar of midori and beer.
Yeesh.
Bring on the drugs. Sore, bloated stomach, cramps and heart burn.
Ok, I need to detox. Can you be ok by next Saturday night my little flower…?

Maybe not. No – I think not.

Excuse me I need to sleep.

Oh .....it's a gross feeling!

Oh…
I’m still hung over…
Beer, midori, ale - yeesh. And that was Thursday it's Saturday night and I'm still paying for it.
My stomach has been grossly bloated and discussing all week. Medication has stopped over the past couple of weeks and now I’m going back to being a “normal” woman.
Yuk. Gross. I feel like I want to hurl. My chest feels tight, stomach feels and looks bloated and I’m hungry but can’t be bothered cooking anything.
Men have it easy. But saying that I don’t think I’d want to shave every second day.
I’m tired. I worked 13 hours today with an hour and a half break, which an hour of that consisted of driving from one job to another and running inside and changing my clothes.
So I’m tired, Hung over, my necks sore and I have sore feet.
Yeesh.
Bleah.

Something good has come out of Eve for me. Yes – a song. I already had the melody it’s just the lyrics – I’ll post them when I’m happy with it.
It’s not finished yet.

I'm only human

Last night I had a terrible nightmare last night I ended up getting Damon up on my bed next to me and having my arm on him.

Eve. He wants to be “good”- whatever. I think he tends to forget that it was him who wouldn’t stop even when I said that I didn’t want to. I just couldn’t stand it anymore and had to because you can only have so much self-control!
So now he wants to be “good” “be right with God”
Yeah. I remember that feeling. Now I look at those Christian books – yes my new ones too and cringe when the whole no sex thing comes up.
I’m only human – I learn by my mistakes, It doesn’t stop me wanting Eve…. just makes it … hard.

Work today; it’s been a long week. I’m going out with Ian tomorrow night for a few drinks. I plan on having more then a few and walking home… or just thinking about it when I get there about plans on where to sleep… Eve…? I’d like to see him.
Hmmm… it’s a hassle. Well maybe just hard.
Being a Christian is hard….
I want to go drink my midori and read my books.

I'm a little tipsy....
........................... Thea wants me to go around Europe with her on a konteki tour... no finance.
I'm getting tired now....

The trapped miners

Yea!!!!!!!!
The miners are free!!!!!!
Two weeks! It’s hard to believe!
I woke up this morning turned the T.V on at 5am and it’s on the T.V they were going to come out in about an hour – so I taped it and went to work.
Yeah!!!!!!!! Can’t help but feel happy, yet sad for the one who was killed and buried today.

I’m going out tonight, I better go get ready.
I managed to have a seep but I’m still feeling tired…

Retail Therapy

Well today has been… tiring.
I ‘m looking everywhere for this Christian book called Victim of love. Now I’ve ordered it.
I brought two other books – they look good now I just have to pry myself off the computer long enough to be able to read them.

I used to be such a bookworm but a busy life style took over.
The book really has to grab me and say read me.
I think I’ve over done the retail therapy for awhile. I started to feel bad that I’ve brought so much for myself.
I needed it, I needed a kick in fashion. I don’t feel that much better but I guess I’d feel worse if I didn’t get the clothes.
I made a decision that this winter I’m not going to wear black, brown dull boring winter colours instead I’m going colour.
Pink, green, red, blue anything a little more colourful and happy.

I’m going out tomorrow night. Come rain, hail, shine, snow or vomit - I’m going.
Ian has text me and emailed me to make sure that I come along.
I would have gone last week but I was soooo tired I just couldn’t go out.
I have to get up at 5am the next morning to go to work but I have to go.
I want to go and see/support him.

Eve. Hmmm. He went for a job interview today. I found myself praying for him.
Yeah... It's still just what it is.

Damon has gone up to my mums with my brother for two and a half days.
I’m to tired to walk him and it’s not fair that he can’t run around. I missed him this morning. I woke up and he wasn’t there to get me up with his kisses and his good morning eyes and smile…. Oh he’s sooo cute.

I need to go to sleep now – 4.15pm. I have to I’m just so tired.
I need to get up at 5 tomorrow too. I’m thinking that I’m going to have to cut down on my hours. After working 9 days straight am and pm shifts – I just got to tired and I can’t seem to pick myself up.

exaustion

Ok, so I've over done it. I got so delerious today at work I felt terriably sick and hungry,then I ate thought I was going to hurl yet still hungry.
I'm so tired that I went to make a phone call I picked up the hand set - which would of been fine except that I don't use a hand set and I had my head set on.
I made everyone laugh, It was so funny because I was saying stupid things all day this just was the action.
I was ment to go and cut hair tonight but I'm way to tired adn need to be ok for tomorrow. I'm working heaps. like the money but it's reay taking it's toll.
I'm so tired I don't remember anything.
not anything and I have to ask the person three or four times for their name in a minute or two conversation.
Doah.

It's 3.30 pm and I'm off to bed.

Today I’m tired. I went to work without my glasses and got sore eyes and found it hard to read the screen.
Then one of the girls asked if I could cut her hair. So I did after work.
Soooooo tired.
Now I’ve got a headache. I ate rice for lunch with tomato sauce.
It was gross but I was hungry so I also had a “health bar”. I now feel like I want to hurl. Those things are so gross. I was just so hungry. Was it worth it – No!

I just ate crap today. Building unneeded insulation just to add to what’s there.
I need to eat more vegetables I was going to go out to the shops but I was too tired. So dinner? Not happening.
I had red wine instead.
I feel so bloated.
I knew I would. I can’t eat that crap.
I was going to go out tonight to the spinning room but I’m way to tired and sickish.

Eve. Heh heh heh…. Heh hehe hehe…
Arr… funny.
I have a smile on my face like a child hiding a chocolate before dinner or something.

I decided that I’m not going to be cold this winter hence I layer on the clothes.
Three or four layers aren’t unusual.

I need to go to bed. Brother is out at work so I don’t need to see him. Yea.

I need to Iron my new coat.

BUI - by the way

I am blogging under the influence. A bad idea? Well I wont’ do a spell check because this time I can’t be bothered and who cares – reight?
What am I dringking? Midori and lemonade.
Why? Why not?
I’ve felt terriable all day. I wore my new outfit, I borought yesterday.
I had complements from some people yet I still feel terriable. Frumpy, sick in the stomach and my jaw is sore. Tension. Clenched jaw.
Work tomorrow. 6am start.

Looks like I’ll have to look somewhere else to live rather then Mk’s place he may not move out for another six months.

Deb got me a white jacket yesterday, really nice and cheap.