Finally time to write

Arrrr the sun is beating down on my back , the birds are chirping, the grass is cut and edged I’m sitting on the floor in the doorway to my room listening to the I am Sam soundtrack. I have played josh picking up bits and pieces of some songs.
Damon is lyin out in the sun after I have just bathed him.
I worked today hairdressing.
I did a hair up for a wedding and then did hair spray colour at a festival for my Saturday job hence why I have got red, green and pink hair.
I have been sooo busy lately! And not much sleep and doing LOTS of dumb things but I laugh at myself – everytime! So it’s ok for everyone to laugh at me cos I know how dumb it really is!
I’ll metion a few hear
I took Damon for a walk late at night and he peed on a rose bush, I thought it look like he caught himself on it. The next morning he had his rash that comes because of the fresh cut grass but there was a red dot on his penis.(on the outside it didn’t come out at any stage!) And his penis looked… swollen – I have noticed this when I had just woke up so knowing im going to be tight for time I rang the vet and raced out the door before work. I get there and in short she pretty much said “Oh, I see – well that ‘s a gland and see if you rub his tummy it gets bigger” - OMG!!!
Yes – I took my dog to the vet just cos he had the “ morning glory”!!!
OMG! I felt SOOOO DUMB!!! I didn’t think! I’ve never had a male dog! Yes I’ve had a boyfriend and yes I know how the males atomony works- but my dog has been de balled and I didn’t know that dhe could still do that!!!!
So I told everyone cos I spent $65 to get told my dog had a fat.
My work mates pulled that one along for the week and I don’t care cos it is funny and If any one elce had doine it I wouldn’t let them live it down! J

Dumb thing No2
The guy who works with me told me he’s playing football this season.
“where?”
“Coberg”
“Oh, will you play croyden!”
HUH??!! For those non victorians it’s like North and South and about a whole city and a lot of decent sized suburbs in between.
I know this but I was sooo tired from going out the night before I had become desirous J

Theres others but that it for now.

My best friend Thea has come back from overseas and a part of me was thinking that we may not e ale to click like we use to. Well any thoughts of that have been put to rest. BABY WE ARE BACK!
Ok so it’s only for three weeks but we are making the most of it. I think of us like Tweedle dum and Tweedle Dee we know what we are thinking without having to say anything and we are both take eachother on.
We aren’t competitive at all.
We just kinda push eachother for example
Thea”should I wear this skirt it’s kinda short”
Me”Yeah – why not you have the body, you look hot”
So she wears the short one.
Another example.
We were driving into the city and following Merv and Ben.They didn’t know where they were going but insisted that they did. Merves car Has like a half roof kinda broken jeep.
I was talking to Ben on the mobile saying which road we need to go down and he talked over me and hung up! That’s a pet hate of mine.
We were held up at the lights for ten or more minutes
Heh heh
Me “ Should I get out and smack him in the head for hanging up on me?”
Thea “Go on”
“Ok”
So I jump out and krept up onto the jeep (LOL) smacked him on the back of his head and screamed “That’s for hanging up on me you fuzzoid!!!!”
His face was – LOL – Hallerious!!! It was definitely the shock tactics I was going for!
( I didn’t smack him hard!)
That was a good night we danced and I had another foot in mouth experience.
I mentioned to this girl who was in our group ( I hadn’t seen her since high school)
“Check out the guy behind me”
“Where?”
“To the left of me and directly behind me”
I half pointed him out.
Me“He’s hot !”
She smiles and giggles
“What”
“That’s my boyfriend!”
“No way!”
“Yes we have been together for eight and a half years!” As she shows the picture of them in her wallet.
LOL!
“Oh well – at least you know he still looks appealing to other people. – but he doesn’t do it for me anymore – LOL – opps!”

Another night Thea and I went with her little sister Lieny, Merv and a few others to a pub that had a korake night.
LOL!
We had a fantastic night and pictures to remember it by.
Thea and I sung together “summer of 69”
And later Merve sung I’m too sexy… Laine, Thea and myself were the backup chicks.
Thea and I “ Merv take you top off when you sing!!! Strip off!”
“Noo no no no!!!”
He didn’t even want to get up and sing but we forced him and he got up there and confidence kicked in – off slid his top but then he was kinda just holding it.
Me being me took it suductlivy slide it over his now naked chest and then put it behind me and started to move it around myself !
There’s pictures and laughes!

This is a long post.

Oh more good news – I got my ike liscense last night!!!!
It was sooo much fun! I got 31 out of 32 for the theory part and was good in the practical.
I want to get a bike now!
I’m lucky – friends have offered theres until I get one. That’s off road stuff – I’m excited about that too!

Something funny happened yesterday.
I woke up and my back had gone from bad to unmovable without pain. Just muscle stuff.
I prayed to God “please God today can you get some one to massage my back? Its so sore, Someone who knows what they are doing will be great/preferable”
I was thinking someone maybe who’s hair I might cut.
No one came and did anything there.
Just as I got to the place to do my license I was talking to one of the guys I met the week before – bike talk nothing to special then he asked how work was,
“Good, how’s it been hear? Busy?”
“ I don’t know I’m not hear during the week”
“No? what do you do?”
“I’m a massage thearipist”
I just smiled and was in awe!
“I’ve got this really sore back are you able to just untie it for me?”
“Yeah, ok – we’ll just go over hear”
He spent about fifteen minutes on my back and it felt soo good after it.
It defiantly relived it and I could go on and do my test!
God works!
This happened ALL the time when I went overseas, I guess I kinda have been listening to him more lately and things have been happening.

My life at the moment is fantastic – It’s up and down but I’m happy.

I'm looking forward to my night of writing, talking on the phone and playing josh :))

Jack kinda made my emotions up and down a lot.
He’s still dropped all contact.
Nothing.
Zip.
Nada.
Yes, I checked the papers to see if he was dead but I doubted it.
I feel like he might just have bits of himself everywhere and sometimes he forgets to pick them up.
I guess he rememered to pick up that bit that he dropped near me.

A quick post

I'm having the time of my life!
Damon is giving me plenty of laughs, Thea my best friend has come back from over seas and I'm going out and having fun! I am thriving in this single life!
I have to go and take Damon for a walk, I've got so much on!

Jack - hmm.

I'm changing my URL

I have a feeling my brother my be looking me up and reading my blog... He was being a smart arse the other night... I was going to deleate this blog ut I may just change the URL.

I don't take anything that i have said or done back. Nothing.
I have no regreats.

I just don't particulerly want his grotty eyes reading my thoughts.
I really don't like him. Not one single bit.
Read this you little prick.
This will be the last post before I change my URL.

I don't know who elce reads this, my friends? doubt it.

At the kmoment I have soooo much I want to write my brains going into over drive. poems, songs, storys, blogging.
Just not enough time in the day.

I brought 18 sunny boys today. There like blocks of flavoured ice that you freeze.
I like them in summer.
Thea's comming back home on Monday for three weeks.

I need at least another 8 hours in the day to write and play "Josh" who is now for sale because i'm moving on to better things - a cut away guitar with a better sound $$$ but I want something better.

Damon is great, We went for a walk to the shops tonight and I brought him a Heaven ice cream :))

I gotta go.

Last night

What a roller coaster yesterday was.
Happy at work,Anxious,stressed,Anxious, Teary, Teary and this is BEFORE I even went to the reception!!!
I ended up wearing my boots, brown sude skirt, white shirt with a red singlet top underneath and my hair up with a few poppys in it.
I felt nice.
I walked in with confidence.
I looked around and didn't know anyone.
This isn't a problem for me. My brother by chance is at the table getting food with in arms distance.
"oi" I touched him on the arm.
He spins around (paranoia)looks at me and hisses
"Put your dog in car"
"No."
He turns and walks off and that's all we said to eachother.
I see my Uncle who is now in a wheel chair, I speak to him for a bit and then my other Uncle sees me and does the introduction to about three people two from a distance. He shows me my cousin - his son Jas. We chat for a little bit then I make my way around asking people how they fit into the family equasion.
So I see heaps of people I haven't seen since I was about six or ten and blah blah blah.
I see this guy who looks around my age.
"Hey how ya goin"
"Good thanks,you?"
"Yeah ok, my names Kaz"
Shake hands
"Garter"
"Garter??"
We have a moment-
"Do you remember me?!"
He looks then his eyes light up
"Kaz!!! OMG! You have changed so much!!!"
"Yeah you too!"
Ten years ago he was at my Uncles house with his friend Simon.
We were just three teenagers flirting and talking as you do at that age.
Simon and I kept in contact for a little bit by letters and phone calls hence Garter usually was on the phone to.It was just teenage fun.
Garter has grown up into quite a strapping young man ;)
Yeah - I half checked him out before I realize who he was.
So we ended up talking and dancing. Thank God for him.
My father is a dick.
I caught the brides bouque and he yells out "That's going to make me broke!"
I roll my eyes and shake my head while laughing because Garter had just caught the Garter belt thrown.Everyone knew the situation with Father and myself that's why it was a really irrelevant thing to say.
Idiot.

For the rest of the night Garters mum kept calling me her daughter in Law and insisting on us having photos together. We just laughed about it.

The end of the night and we sit out the front on the fence talking. We kiss(cheek) goodbye
"can I have your number?" he holds his phone to me
"Yeah,we can catch up for a drink when your in the city"
"yeah we could go out to dinner" I smile as I give him my phone number.
"This feels wrong - you feel like a cousin!"
"But I'm not" He smiles.
He's my cousins cousin if that makes sense.
We have the same Uncle by marriage.
I get in the car
"call me and let me know that you got home ok"
"Ok - that Garter looks really good on you!" looking at his leg he had put the garter belt over his pants -
"Those flowers make you look sexy"
Huh? - I laugh and he gets a look on his face like - Oh why did I say that??!
"I'll call you tomorrow"
Still smiling I say"Ok"

I did call him when I got home.
I didn't think he would call today. I was right. I didn't really care either way really.

Jack has fallen off the planet.
Hmm.

I have finally stopped after two weeks of work. My legs are tired my feet are sore and I need sleep.
Even today my day off I had to mow the lawns, pull out weeds, edge the lawn, nail back on boards that had fallen off the shed, walk Damon, take him to the vets to get his stiches taken out from ten days ago, I did three loads of washing,cleaned my room,stripped my bed washed all the sheets,did the shopping and brought a CD and finally managed to play Josh.

Now I'm tired.
And Damon has revived himself and wanted to play. Nah. No way.
I thought I wore him out on his walk!

What a boring post! I'm going to bed.


Now I might go to

This weekend - Oh my God!

Aghh.
There's just not enough hours in a day!!!
Blah.

I feel like I have been working flat out for well this is my 13th day and I'm really looking forward to Sunday.
I've got to get Damons stiches out ut the rest of the day is mine.

I know this might sound bad but I'll say it anyway.
I have a wedding to go to on Saturday night.
My cousin who I haven't seen for ten years AT least is getting maried and it's like get the family together.
I haate my brother.
He lied to me.
I HATE people when they lie to me.
He said my father wasn't going to be going to this wedding so when I spoke to my Uncle who again I haven't seen for just as long and he asked insistantly that I come I figured ok - Fathers not going to be there. Wrong.
He is.
He actually knew about the wedding and had said that he didn't want us (brother and myself ) to come.
I found this out AFTER I got off the phone and had already said i'll go.

He didn't WANT us there.
FUCK HIM.

Sorry but I can't put it a nicer way.
Is it no wonder I don't like him??
I never have.

So I'm going and i'm taking Damon.
The reception is at my Uncles house and he was ok with it.
I almost feel like I need a hug. But I figure nah - I'm stronger then that - and I have Damon.
I'd be fine without him there of course but I feel bad leaving him alone for hours on end by him self.

I caught up with Pete and old friend of mine. We have knowen each other for seven years.
I've seen him be single and a nutter, a coulple a fleeting girlfriends and now he's engaged and couldn't be happier.
He want's me to find Mr Right - shame I don't!

Tomorrow night should e interesting - I'm not putting up a facade of any sort.
I don't call my Father "Dad" because he's not.

What will it be like?
I will try and keep myself nice.
I figure as long as I keep out of his way I will be fine.
F**K him.

Yes I hate swaring.
I hardly do it but it suits him very well.

I've been thinking about what to wear. How to have my make up, my hair, accessories, perfume, shoes or boots? - Hair up or down? This is so vain.
I do want to look nice because you do want to look at least half decent when you haven't seen people for Ten or more years.

Christmas is comming up and a corner of my heart is a little empty in one little corner...

Well today was super busy at work - did I just say "super"
oh - I shake my head i'm really tired.
It feels like a Thursday and it's only Tuesday.
I got home and got something to eat looked at Damon and I knew I had to walk him, I was sooo tired but took him out anyway.
I'm glad I did, he really enjoyed it.
I met Terri again walking her dog and Damon and Lou lou played and ran about for ages.
Were going to take them to a lake one day cos they got along really well.

Damon still sleeps with me. Last night my cat Tessa decided she will sleep with us too! She cruled up in one of my drawers which I keep my tops, I went to sleep with Damon curled up, snuggling in next to me and the sound of Tessa purring away quite contentedly.
I'm really happy :)
My mind does wonder occasionally and think of Jack. I think that's just cos of the test messages and getting led on to a point of almost no return - well no return if we were in person that is but we weren't.

I thought of the date and it's the 8th. That means that Jack is offically no longer involved in Street works.
Just thinking that my cheeks got hot. They sitll are. I guess When I think of Christmas comming up with street works, I think of him, Goosey, Frank and a few others but I guess my christmas is spent with these people.

I do the family lunch with my family but any un nessary time spent with my brother - he usually yells and argues or finds something negative about anything ot complaine about.
Christmas with him is not happy memories. The Two past Christmas Eve BBQs with street works have been the most happy and memoriable nights.
Singing carrols, being with the "streeties" really enjoying everyones company and everyone is in such a great mood and usually the wheather is beautiful.
I sigh. Times change.
I don't doubt it will be fablous but a part of me is feeling a little empty - just a little corner of my heart that is so happy at the moment feels a little dark and empty.
It's only now tho - I could feel fine tomorrow. I've had a drink tonight but only one.
Damon is fast asleep on the floor he's ran himself out tonight!

Gee - christmas is just round the corner! I need to start and make my christmas rcards. I make the ones for close friends and people who I know will like them.
I wonder what to say when I get asked "what do you want for christmas"
Mum and Brother. I want them to just experience the love in giving at christmas.
Giving to others, by action doing something for someone elce.
Buying presents and giving them to children who may not get anything.

At christmas a bag with general essentials is given out to the "streeties". I want to put something in it but don't know what. Something - i'll pray about it and figure something out.

I feel so lovey dovey. I think it's christmas and Damon. When I look at hi and his cute little face you can't help but smile at him and he then wagges his little tail :))

I'm so tired.
I have wierd dreams about my teeth being so loose then they start to fall out and they fill my mouth and i spit them into my hand and i'm feeling really upset, worried and think "oh no!My teeth!!!"
Stupid dreams!!!

I better go.

A busy day

Today I was in such a good mood at work, I didn't stop talking all day!
I came home picked up Dadmon and ran arrands. We looked at cubby houses, dog kennals and went shopping. he's had a happy day and I don't have to put the big plastic thing around his head to stop him licking his stiches. I brought heaps of things for him today. Everyone thought he was such a good dog.
Mum came down today and saw him too - she really likes him.
I fed him tonight and he must have been feeling good because he ran around the backyard which is fairly small. He's meant to take it easy for ten days but I think he wants out. He'll be walked everyday I have to because he needs it. My brother will also walk him.
Dadmon has made friends with my cat so that's really good.

Brian called today. Just to see how he was going.... there was a pause in our conversation. Like he was waiting to say lets catch up or something. You just get that feeling. So I say "what are you doing tomorrow?"
"Nothing, you?"
"I'm working all day"
"ohh..."
"Well I better go"
I want to give him some money for damon but he says no.
I feel like it's to much. I mean I don't want to feel like if I say no to dinner or something I'll feel bad because he did spend all that money on Damon - hence for me.
But I'm not going to feel like that. I'm not heartless i'm just greatful and that's that.

I cut this guys hair today and he's getting married in two weeks. Deb gave me crap about it because it took me nearly an hour! :)) So we chat, laugh and talk really easily.
I made sure that no one was waitting :))
He we laughed cos he seemed perfect. Kinda religious, cute, didn't sware - but we just laughed about it.

Well I better go off to bed. I'm really tired and can"t afford to sleep in tomorrow!

Last night got a bit cold, Damon was asleep on the floor and in the morning he crawled onto my bed and snuggled up. When I woke up he had put himself on the other side of my queen size bed and lay right out. I put his blanki over him and he looked really cute :)
Jack passes through my thoughts today, i'm glad we caught up last night.

I got my bubby!!!!

Yes that's right! I got a dog! He's name is Damon ( I didn't name him but I've got use to it)
He's a gray hound crossed with a wolf hound. He's dark chocolate brown bib brown eyes and he's just georgus!
He is the dog that I was after a few weeks ago at street works and my mission has begun to put weight on his skinny ribby frame. I got him Wednesday night. Brian brought him for me and then dropped him off at my house at 12.30am after he had finished street works!
I was stunned and sooo excited! The next day I dropped him off at the vets and he got nutered, vaccinated, wormed, blood tested and I brought him a toy that you put peanut utter in and he spends a while licking it out.
He's a little lonely being by himself all day but once he gets his stiches out and the big plastic thing off his head (to stop him from licking himself) I can walk him and wash him and give him a big meaty bone :))
We spent the first night out under the stars in the hot wind. It was cooler outside then in.
He sleeps in my room on the floor - this morning I he crawled up onto my bed and slept for an hour or two.
I'm soo happy. mHe's sitting on my feet as I type. He's so cute. He's only 18 months old so he's still growing - a bit more but already he's huge.
He was all happy to see me today :)) wagged his tail and he's taken to liking my hand. I played around with him tonight and he liked my face :)) He's starting to settle in.

On my way to work this morning I prayed to God "Please, Just help me get through the day, Help things to work out and for me to have a good day"
It happened. One of the guys I worked with I spoke to when it was just the two of us and he said " We (him and Liney) were just talking last night saying how much you have to do. Theres heaps. The show, end of month,admin stuff that has to get done - you have been the first to get hear and the last to leave AND for the past two days you haven't had a lunch break and or a propper lunch break for ages!"
I felt a million dollars"So it's obvious that i'm actually working??"
"Yeah!"
"I needed to hear that, I was almost at breaking point!"
He's a really nice guy. They all are really.
So I stayed back with my boss tonight and did stuff for the show on Sunday. I'm starting at 6.30 sunday so that means a 5.30am get up maybe 5.15am. work all the way till about 7 pm. I'm excited about it.
I'm looking forward to putting faces to the voices I have spoken to - sometimes up to seven or more times a day!

I went out tonight with Jack, it was good we saw a band had a couple of drinks and chatted. No wierdness - just the same :)
So thats good.

Well It's 1.10 am. I have to work today at 9am so I better go sleep, I need to do better then last weeks 8!

Just run

Today was soo stressful. I came home and went for a run. Ran out my stresses.

I feel a little better now.
I'm going out to Ant's tomorrow for dinner and out again on Friday. It's good i'm winding down from work and it really helps to be around my friends.

This is my fourth post. My computer keeps dying.
The other ones were longer.

I feel content. Only a little stressed thanks to the run. I run and feel my muscles in my legs pumping as a sprint along the track. I had to run I was high on caffeine because I couldn't sleep due to stress and I just have to keep going until Sunday night. I feel at work I'm working my arse off, trying my best and I feel like to them it's just not good enough.
Sigh.
It will all just happen and I can only try and do my best.

After my run tonight I can smile - I couldn't do that all day but now I can :))

It's to hot to sleep.