This may take awhile
I was working yesterday hairdressing first,
I was cutting hair and I hear a familiar voice say “No, I’ll wait for kaz”
I peaked in the mirror and it was Gareth.
He still comes in! I have to give him ten points for that. After giving a chick your number and her never calling yet you still go back and get your hair cut…
Well It’s persistence.
I thought he got over me. The others have cut his hair in the past but now he wanted to wait for me. We got talking and it seemed he had some 26yo girl call him at 3am the previous night wanting him to go out and meet her at a pub.
He said no. He was a bit more talkative yesterday I felt like we could actually talk instead of having that “will she or won’t she see me” type feeling.
But he tried again, it was funny he said “Since I’ve been single I get women but there’s always something wrong with them. That one thing. I feel like that Sinfeld (I can’t spell it) He smiles and says something like “there never the ones you want…
So what are you doing tonight – oh your working aren’t you”
“Yeah”
He gets up to leave – looks at his phone and says, “You know I’ve been waiting for that call, we never did go for that drink”
Ha! Well geez – I smiled and said “Yeah, I know but you know, work … I know… I haven’t forgotten, I’ve still got it”
He smiles and gives me that we could go out look and I say
“See ya and have a nice weekend”
Really, he didn’t say how he’s hung over and tell me about how drunk he got whenever he went out.
So I thought about meeting up with him after work at around 10.30pm
As I was thinking about Gareth my phone starts ringing.
It’s Eve.
“Hello”
“Hi, What are you doing?”
“I’m at work”
“Till when?”
“Another hour”
“Oh – do you want to come round and watch a movie?”
“huh?? Movie?”
“ Ben’s hear and we’re watching movies”
Ben, being his 11yo son.
So I think well, nothing would happen because Ben’s there.
Yeah – why am I so Naive??!
It was just as before. I said no because I knew he didn’t want to yet in the end I wanted to.
Sam was put to bed as he fell asleep during the movie and we were together yet again.
Afterward I got up to go thinking that what’s the point in staying as he doesn’t care we did what we wanted to. It’s so hard to leave especially when he says don’t leave, talk to me.
So I stayed and talked. In the end I left. I kissed him on the cheek and said
“I’m going to delate your number. I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t want you to get hurt so it’s better that this stops.”
I had tears prick my eyes and yes I find it hard to let go but it has to be done.
He says that he is in a constant circle of sex, guilt, and space then all over again.
Also he had a one-night stand before me that he told me about last night.
I asked because at the start he told me he hadn’t. Then he now tells me it was a one-night stand and he never saw her again.
“Great – well I hope she had nothing wrong with her!” I got instantly angry.
He LIED TO ME!!!! FROM THE START!!!
LIED!!!
I got over the initial shock and figured it’s best to forget about that.
So now?
Well – That’s it. No more. I deserve more then what he gives me. Yes it was just sex for a long time but now I find myself thinking about him rather then taking Gareth up on his offer – It has to stop.
I can do it.
It’s just hard.
I say no but I’m easily mislead by him.
He told me I could stay and sleep on the couch cos Ben was in the bed – I had been awake for 22 hours.
“I’ll go home.”
What would an 11yo think to the woman on the couch in the morning?!
Something like “what’s she doing still hear” – I don’t want to get him involved.
That wouldn’t be fair.
So I had the very tired drive home. I was going to send him the last text when I got home but I fell asleep while writing it.
Now what?
Hmmm.
Send a letter…
I’m thinking letter.
Just a nice one that will maybe help him in some small way.
Yeah I’ll do that. I don’t feel like I need closure but I want him to feel…
Good about himself.
I was cutting hair and I hear a familiar voice say “No, I’ll wait for kaz”
I peaked in the mirror and it was Gareth.
He still comes in! I have to give him ten points for that. After giving a chick your number and her never calling yet you still go back and get your hair cut…
Well It’s persistence.
I thought he got over me. The others have cut his hair in the past but now he wanted to wait for me. We got talking and it seemed he had some 26yo girl call him at 3am the previous night wanting him to go out and meet her at a pub.
He said no. He was a bit more talkative yesterday I felt like we could actually talk instead of having that “will she or won’t she see me” type feeling.
But he tried again, it was funny he said “Since I’ve been single I get women but there’s always something wrong with them. That one thing. I feel like that Sinfeld (I can’t spell it) He smiles and says something like “there never the ones you want…
So what are you doing tonight – oh your working aren’t you”
“Yeah”
He gets up to leave – looks at his phone and says, “You know I’ve been waiting for that call, we never did go for that drink”
Ha! Well geez – I smiled and said “Yeah, I know but you know, work … I know… I haven’t forgotten, I’ve still got it”
He smiles and gives me that we could go out look and I say
“See ya and have a nice weekend”
Really, he didn’t say how he’s hung over and tell me about how drunk he got whenever he went out.
So I thought about meeting up with him after work at around 10.30pm
As I was thinking about Gareth my phone starts ringing.
It’s Eve.
“Hello”
“Hi, What are you doing?”
“I’m at work”
“Till when?”
“Another hour”
“Oh – do you want to come round and watch a movie?”
“huh?? Movie?”
“ Ben’s hear and we’re watching movies”
Ben, being his 11yo son.
So I think well, nothing would happen because Ben’s there.
Yeah – why am I so Naive??!
It was just as before. I said no because I knew he didn’t want to yet in the end I wanted to.
Sam was put to bed as he fell asleep during the movie and we were together yet again.
Afterward I got up to go thinking that what’s the point in staying as he doesn’t care we did what we wanted to. It’s so hard to leave especially when he says don’t leave, talk to me.
So I stayed and talked. In the end I left. I kissed him on the cheek and said
“I’m going to delate your number. I don’t want to get hurt, I don’t want you to get hurt so it’s better that this stops.”
I had tears prick my eyes and yes I find it hard to let go but it has to be done.
He says that he is in a constant circle of sex, guilt, and space then all over again.
Also he had a one-night stand before me that he told me about last night.
I asked because at the start he told me he hadn’t. Then he now tells me it was a one-night stand and he never saw her again.
“Great – well I hope she had nothing wrong with her!” I got instantly angry.
He LIED TO ME!!!! FROM THE START!!!
LIED!!!
I got over the initial shock and figured it’s best to forget about that.
So now?
Well – That’s it. No more. I deserve more then what he gives me. Yes it was just sex for a long time but now I find myself thinking about him rather then taking Gareth up on his offer – It has to stop.
I can do it.
It’s just hard.
I say no but I’m easily mislead by him.
He told me I could stay and sleep on the couch cos Ben was in the bed – I had been awake for 22 hours.
“I’ll go home.”
What would an 11yo think to the woman on the couch in the morning?!
Something like “what’s she doing still hear” – I don’t want to get him involved.
That wouldn’t be fair.
So I had the very tired drive home. I was going to send him the last text when I got home but I fell asleep while writing it.
Now what?
Hmmm.
Send a letter…
I’m thinking letter.
Just a nice one that will maybe help him in some small way.
Yeah I’ll do that. I don’t feel like I need closure but I want him to feel…
Good about himself.
posted by kaz at 12:00 PM
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