Live and Learn - lesson learnt

So I didn’t argue. I didn’t yell.
I told him again straight up that I didn’t want to shag him and guess what.
I know it takes two – Yeah, it happened.
It was a good experience. I told him how I felt.
“Saying that it mean's more to me now it’s not just sex.” Blah blah blah
"This is sounding like days of our lives"
"So turn it off"
I left.
I didn’t want to stay there the night knowing that he didn’t care about me. He only uses me.
He told me last night that he wanted “ to bonk”
I told him where to go and get it. Red light district.
Then I felt really angry. Only hours before this he told me how he wants to be “a Christian” He was serious – well I thought he was.
I thought I would support him with it. I mean, all we can do is try. But with the text messages he sent me – he just wanted me for sex.
I was angry that I believed him that he wanted to try and be “a Christian”. What a Joke and I felt stupid for believing him.
“F**k u & delete my number”
“nice”
I felt bad then that I sent it.
It was a heat of the moment text. But I’m no hooker and I don’t appreciate feeling like one.
So how did I end up shagging him last night? Well I didn’t want to but then – he’s so seductive. And when I try to be strong and not to – he has this way… Sigh.
I don’t regret it.
It’s made me able to really see that it’s not going to happen. It's not going to turn into anything wonderful/meaningful.
And I don’t want it to. He doesn't care about me.
We live and learn.
I hope people don't think i'm easy. Maybe eaisly mislead and way to trusting.



I’m house sitting this Weekend.
I’m going into the city and catching up with Ian on Saturday.
That will be good, it’s a poetry reading.

I went to a second hand bookshop yesterday – I could spend all day in there.
Looking at old poetry, verse and stories.
I’m still playing my guitar – hit a bit of a wall with it but keep pressing on.

Damon has an allergy to grass and is scratching like crazy. Poor thing. There’s no more I can do for him. He’s super red and breaking his skin in places.
I’ve tried aloe Vera spray and his diet’s good. I don’t know what else to do?
Any ideas?