Blurred thoughts...
So much for work today. I was woken up at 5am by my best friend telling me that she was in hospital with an ear infection. 5AM!!!!!!!!! I went to bed at 7.30pm and couldn't get to sleep but I was soooooo tired.
I took two sleeping tablets and I think I fell asleep around 11.30pm.
So I arrived at work, my boss again doesn't mention anything about me being away.
Nothing. A few people asked how I was.
Now hears what I find out. One of the guys has "left" and it's not spoken about so I have no idea what went on there. It was all fine before I left.
My boss is complaining that she now needs more staff. She's talking about bringing in outside people, your averavge "Joe" so to speak and putting them into a position that you usually have to work your arse off to get the promotion!!!
Hello!!!! Intelligent female sitting down frount wasting away in a crap position and has been there for FOUR MONTHS!!!!! Knows a bit more about the company then an "outsider"!!!!!
I'm not told anything. I have expressed my intrest to move up verbally and written yet they are about to put on a new guy on Wednesday!
WHAT THE!!!!
I was tired when I heard them talk about the recruitment of more staff.
I wanted to just say "What about me??!!!"
But because I was so tired and not in the best of moods, I left it as it was because they may have something else in store for me. But I'm REALLY doubting it.
I don't know but at the end of all this I'm not promoted I leaving.
Hears the catch.
I left work today at 1pm. I couldn't stay I was exausted.
I mentioned that I might do half days because I can't handle full days.
I think it's time to have a "meeting" but it looks really bad, me being in a position where I can't even stay a full day.
One guy said today "thank God your back"
"That's nice to hear"
But I sit at my desk today - it's not busy, i'm tired and there's NOTHING TO DO!!!!!
I have to remember that I can't leave without having another job to go to. My car loan has really stopped me from throwing it in today.
I don't think I'll be promoted. The woman who sits behind me I really doubt that she want's me in her "team".
If that's the case at the end of the day - It's not worth staying in a job where it's a brain dead job with no room for growth.
I want to learn. I want to grow.
I'm missing Damon. Mum said that he was looking for me in my room where I stay.
I was going to buy him a bone when I stoped & remembered that he's not at home.
Rusty sent me a message last night and said he was going to call tonight.
Yeah - Whatever.
Thing is that I'm feeling like I want someone to be around.
Rusty I know will be that person - quite happy to but I feel that if I say ok come round, cook me dinner (he's offer) hang out and chat - I feel that I'm leading him on. Even though nothing would happen.
I'm only human. What to do.
Can't we just be friends? Can't he just get a girlfriend so that would take the "tension" out of the maybe, maybe not - the always a possibility if we are both single.
Blah. Make sense?
I want someone to lean on.
I had a dream last night that I was talking to Eve. Talking about life I can't remember exactly what. He turned around and said something like"Oh, yeah,oh."
It was like he didn't care. He kept to himself and didn't really open up when I was "seeing" him. So in the dream I thought to myself - Sigh. What was I thinking.
Because we were together in my dream. Like, we had been gooing out for six months or a year. Awhile.
I don't want to be with anyone while I feel like this. But I guess it's the time where you become most vunerable.
I guess I just have to keep my eyes fixed on what can lie ahead rather then live in the now.
Why do I always do that??
I've got to have something to look forward to. Either a goal or something to keep my spirits high. Maybe that's why I feel like I do. My goal to better myself in the company has been squashed. What do I look forward to now?
I want to go overseas but not for at least a year.
It's out of my reach at the moment but it's something I look to.
I need money. My fantastic boss and work mates at the hairdressers would probably put me on full time but I don't think I want to do that full time.
I just want to learn more. I hate not learning.
Night school... a possibility.
This Glandular fever has just knocked me for six and I get tired. I can't do to much now and it's fustrating. SOOOO FUSTRATING!!!
I love being busy. Life in general. I like to play sport, I like to walk my dog, go out and listen to poetry, see friends, talk! I like to interact with people.
Now being so tired, my patience level has dropped and I haven't got the energy to go out.
I feel like crying. I feel like a mess. Well in truth I feel a bit better now I have typed it out.
But something will happen. This has got to work out somehow.
I took two sleeping tablets and I think I fell asleep around 11.30pm.
So I arrived at work, my boss again doesn't mention anything about me being away.
Nothing. A few people asked how I was.
Now hears what I find out. One of the guys has "left" and it's not spoken about so I have no idea what went on there. It was all fine before I left.
My boss is complaining that she now needs more staff. She's talking about bringing in outside people, your averavge "Joe" so to speak and putting them into a position that you usually have to work your arse off to get the promotion!!!
Hello!!!! Intelligent female sitting down frount wasting away in a crap position and has been there for FOUR MONTHS!!!!! Knows a bit more about the company then an "outsider"!!!!!
I'm not told anything. I have expressed my intrest to move up verbally and written yet they are about to put on a new guy on Wednesday!
WHAT THE!!!!
I was tired when I heard them talk about the recruitment of more staff.
I wanted to just say "What about me??!!!"
But because I was so tired and not in the best of moods, I left it as it was because they may have something else in store for me. But I'm REALLY doubting it.
I don't know but at the end of all this I'm not promoted I leaving.
Hears the catch.
I left work today at 1pm. I couldn't stay I was exausted.
I mentioned that I might do half days because I can't handle full days.
I think it's time to have a "meeting" but it looks really bad, me being in a position where I can't even stay a full day.
One guy said today "thank God your back"
"That's nice to hear"
But I sit at my desk today - it's not busy, i'm tired and there's NOTHING TO DO!!!!!
I have to remember that I can't leave without having another job to go to. My car loan has really stopped me from throwing it in today.
I don't think I'll be promoted. The woman who sits behind me I really doubt that she want's me in her "team".
If that's the case at the end of the day - It's not worth staying in a job where it's a brain dead job with no room for growth.
I want to learn. I want to grow.
I'm missing Damon. Mum said that he was looking for me in my room where I stay.
I was going to buy him a bone when I stoped & remembered that he's not at home.
Rusty sent me a message last night and said he was going to call tonight.
Yeah - Whatever.
Thing is that I'm feeling like I want someone to be around.
Rusty I know will be that person - quite happy to but I feel that if I say ok come round, cook me dinner (he's offer) hang out and chat - I feel that I'm leading him on. Even though nothing would happen.
I'm only human. What to do.
Can't we just be friends? Can't he just get a girlfriend so that would take the "tension" out of the maybe, maybe not - the always a possibility if we are both single.
Blah. Make sense?
I want someone to lean on.
I had a dream last night that I was talking to Eve. Talking about life I can't remember exactly what. He turned around and said something like"Oh, yeah,oh."
It was like he didn't care. He kept to himself and didn't really open up when I was "seeing" him. So in the dream I thought to myself - Sigh. What was I thinking.
Because we were together in my dream. Like, we had been gooing out for six months or a year. Awhile.
I don't want to be with anyone while I feel like this. But I guess it's the time where you become most vunerable.
I guess I just have to keep my eyes fixed on what can lie ahead rather then live in the now.
Why do I always do that??
I've got to have something to look forward to. Either a goal or something to keep my spirits high. Maybe that's why I feel like I do. My goal to better myself in the company has been squashed. What do I look forward to now?
I want to go overseas but not for at least a year.
It's out of my reach at the moment but it's something I look to.
I need money. My fantastic boss and work mates at the hairdressers would probably put me on full time but I don't think I want to do that full time.
I just want to learn more. I hate not learning.
Night school... a possibility.
This Glandular fever has just knocked me for six and I get tired. I can't do to much now and it's fustrating. SOOOO FUSTRATING!!!
I love being busy. Life in general. I like to play sport, I like to walk my dog, go out and listen to poetry, see friends, talk! I like to interact with people.
Now being so tired, my patience level has dropped and I haven't got the energy to go out.
I feel like crying. I feel like a mess. Well in truth I feel a bit better now I have typed it out.
But something will happen. This has got to work out somehow.
posted by kaz at 5:48 PM
1 Comments:
When your wrote "It's not worth staying in a job where it's a brain dead job with no room for growth." I wanted a new job for so long but I knew the corporate culture and I was comfortable and afraid to move on with life.
If you hate your job then its best to move on from there if you can because we all spend a good chunk of our lives working and if you are miserable there you carry that over to your personal life and that will have terrible effects or at least it did for me. So I did not mean to play the part of Dr. Phil
Post a Comment
<< Home