Reasons to sign off for awhile.....
I feel physically drained and emotionally guttered.
I thought I could get over Nick. If it was up to me now – I wouldn’t see him. It’s killing me seeing him in the mornings and we no longer talk.
It's not in my nature to ignore someone. To make them feel uncomfortable.
I never thought he did that either... I guess he's proven me wrong.
I reread through some emails we sent each other. I delated them soon after but it just made me think again, about how we had really good conversations and related really well. We were friends. Nothing else.
I’m dealing with the rejection (which he said he’s not doing but I can’t see it otherwise) – I feel like his pushed me away. Like there’s something wrong with me (which he said there’s not but it’s something).
I’m dealing with my stupid ass father and brother, Nick, Eve and Drew who is really nice but he flirts with me and I don’t want it to look like I’m leading him on.
He’s just to nice and at 35 screams commitment and just not my sota guy.
I read my Alen Alda book and loved it. But who could I tell who cares?
No one likes M*A*S*H – Who’s he? Yeah.
I hate the fact that I go into work now and don’t talk to Nick.
(My eyes are filling up in tears.)
I hate the fact that he despises me to the point that he doesn’t even look in my direction. What have I done that has made him do a complete back flip?
I feel like if I talk to him it just makes him hate me more.
Once he leaves and I don’t have to see him…..I’ll stop feeling like this…
Out of sight out of mind…….Right.
God. It’s all too much to deal with. I feel like I can’t handle it all.
Relationships. I feel smothered by people.
My one-day off was spent being hung over.
I feel like I need space at the moment. I’ve turned off my phone. I don’t want to “talk” to anyone. I don’t want to see anyone.
I just feel a bit over everything.
I want to go and write. Write a book.
Maybe a short story.
I just need time to me.
I’ve had enough.
I’m going to sign off for a few days.
Just do what I want to do. Read. Sleep. Write. Play my guitar. Spend time with Damon.
Just to be alone.
I’m craving that solitude.
I thought I could get over Nick. If it was up to me now – I wouldn’t see him. It’s killing me seeing him in the mornings and we no longer talk.
It's not in my nature to ignore someone. To make them feel uncomfortable.
I never thought he did that either... I guess he's proven me wrong.
I reread through some emails we sent each other. I delated them soon after but it just made me think again, about how we had really good conversations and related really well. We were friends. Nothing else.
I’m dealing with the rejection (which he said he’s not doing but I can’t see it otherwise) – I feel like his pushed me away. Like there’s something wrong with me (which he said there’s not but it’s something).
I’m dealing with my stupid ass father and brother, Nick, Eve and Drew who is really nice but he flirts with me and I don’t want it to look like I’m leading him on.
He’s just to nice and at 35 screams commitment and just not my sota guy.
I read my Alen Alda book and loved it. But who could I tell who cares?
No one likes M*A*S*H – Who’s he? Yeah.
I hate the fact that I go into work now and don’t talk to Nick.
(My eyes are filling up in tears.)
I hate the fact that he despises me to the point that he doesn’t even look in my direction. What have I done that has made him do a complete back flip?
I feel like if I talk to him it just makes him hate me more.
Once he leaves and I don’t have to see him…..I’ll stop feeling like this…
Out of sight out of mind…….Right.
God. It’s all too much to deal with. I feel like I can’t handle it all.
Relationships. I feel smothered by people.
My one-day off was spent being hung over.
I feel like I need space at the moment. I’ve turned off my phone. I don’t want to “talk” to anyone. I don’t want to see anyone.
I just feel a bit over everything.
I want to go and write. Write a book.
Maybe a short story.
I just need time to me.
I’ve had enough.
I’m going to sign off for a few days.
Just do what I want to do. Read. Sleep. Write. Play my guitar. Spend time with Damon.
Just to be alone.
I’m craving that solitude.
posted by kaz at 2:54 PM
3 Comments:
Good luck, Kaz. I know exactly how you're feeling and sometimes I also need to disconnect to find myself again. I hope it helps. Just remember that "this too shall pass." You can get through anything, time helps for sure... Be strong!
Kaz I wish I could give you some instiration post here but I have none... cheer up us men all not all bad and you are a great girl- sorry I mean lady. I will explain more in a email what I think- my two cents worth anyway
thanks scott :)
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