THe "Bootie" call

So I text Eve. I was having a “moment” – It pitted out. Good thing.
I think if I was to do anything – well I’d be the “awful person” and be using him and I wouldn’t like to feel like that. … Getting my drift? Yeah – I was thinking about doing a “bootie” call. I’m glad I didn’t. I think because I don’t like him I would just be a cold-hearted “Bitch” and just do my thing then – leave.
I really can’t do that. I can’t be bothered with him because he really is awful. I guess I was looking for… psychical contact.
I had an argument with my brother tonight.
I was also looking for a possible place to stay. I just can’t stand living with my brother. Brother told me today that he had two nights off – bad news for me.
I thought I could stay but ten minutes later he was off in a storm of fury. He cracked it at his father (over the phone) and decided to take it out on me. Screaming, ranting and raving. He threw the phone on the couch got all red in the face then aimed all his words at me.
I gave it back not as much because – I can’t be bothered. I got Damon and went for a walk. I was thinking about my options – where I can go for tonight and the next three nights.
That’s when I text Eve partly because he was a good option and partly cos I wanted the physical contact.
Anyway that didn’t happen.
I spoke to my mum and fifteen minutes later she calls back and tells me that brother is going up to her house for his days off :)
Relief.

I have now completely delated Eve’s number. It’s not on my computer as it was or my phone.
He’s been completely erased.
I don’t feel anything. I just go through the motions.