Retail Therapy part two
I’ve been in a good mood today. It’s funny I feel so very hyperactive. I bounce around in my chair at work and say stupid things. Mostly not intentional.
Although I say this because I had a good day at work – I feel like I could cry.
Why?
I asked him how he was and he said that he was emotional (due to dare I say it…depression drugs)
God I hope he never stumbles across this blog.
I felt like giving him a hug. A pang went off inside me. Then it turned into a guided feeling. Like I tried to block him out.
This is because of my Ex George. From so long ago. Four years but he took me for a roller coaster ride and I became a mess because I loved him so much I went through every feeling with him. Every up and down. I loved him unconditionally.
I loved him.
Jasper a guy at work I was talking to and he said "if you know what you’re getting yourself into with Eve then it’s your choice."
It made me remember the past. I got so screwed up and around. I was chewed up and spat out. Even tho I ended it and he didn’t want me to – a part of me didn’t want to but I mean he got into rec drugs. Speed, ecstasy, cocaine – mixing them with anti depressants and alcohol then not taking the anti depressants for a week or so then loading himself up on them the following week because he “missed out”.
Sigh.
Irresponsible.
I had to leave – I didn’t want him to tear me down with him – as Jasper also said, you can’t not give Eve the chance just because of your bad experience with George.
I feel for Eve. I was thinking today about the way he touched me, wanted me the way we… “Made love” – it did and still does now just thinking about it…. The before during and after was beautiful. For him to be sad I feel myself feeling sad for him.
I saw a heavily pregnant woman at the park today and she looked extremely uncomfortable (had 3 weeks to go) and she needed to pee. I felt sorry for her! Sore back, can’t do anything simple like get out of bed easily! Boy, did she look uncomfortable – I thought she would drop the baby tonight or tomorrow!
So getting back to it, I feel happy yet I feel like I long to see Eve and hug him and talk to him.
I hope he still comes in tomorrow ….
I did the Retail Therapy today. Those two tops were still there and I had just enough money for them both :))
I’m tired. I better go to bed.
I’m cold.
I hate winter.
My birthday is in 13 days.
My car needs to be serviced.
I like my tops. Will look nice with skirt and boots.
I think I’m enjoying being me at the moment.
I saw the movie “The break up” What a stupid, waste of time that was. No it’s not a comedy. I found it quite disturbing and was going to walk out of it. I only stayed because I thought it would have a good ending – it didn’t. It made me walk out feeling like I had had been arguing and in a fight. Rather just have watched it!!!
I HATE ARGUMENTS!!!!! And people putting other people down or making the other person feel like crap. I really HATE it!!!!! The whole movie was based about that. It sucked really.
Not a nice movie at all.
Goodnight
Although I say this because I had a good day at work – I feel like I could cry.
Why?
I asked him how he was and he said that he was emotional (due to dare I say it…depression drugs)
God I hope he never stumbles across this blog.
I felt like giving him a hug. A pang went off inside me. Then it turned into a guided feeling. Like I tried to block him out.
This is because of my Ex George. From so long ago. Four years but he took me for a roller coaster ride and I became a mess because I loved him so much I went through every feeling with him. Every up and down. I loved him unconditionally.
I loved him.
Jasper a guy at work I was talking to and he said "if you know what you’re getting yourself into with Eve then it’s your choice."
It made me remember the past. I got so screwed up and around. I was chewed up and spat out. Even tho I ended it and he didn’t want me to – a part of me didn’t want to but I mean he got into rec drugs. Speed, ecstasy, cocaine – mixing them with anti depressants and alcohol then not taking the anti depressants for a week or so then loading himself up on them the following week because he “missed out”.
Sigh.
Irresponsible.
I had to leave – I didn’t want him to tear me down with him – as Jasper also said, you can’t not give Eve the chance just because of your bad experience with George.
I feel for Eve. I was thinking today about the way he touched me, wanted me the way we… “Made love” – it did and still does now just thinking about it…. The before during and after was beautiful. For him to be sad I feel myself feeling sad for him.
I saw a heavily pregnant woman at the park today and she looked extremely uncomfortable (had 3 weeks to go) and she needed to pee. I felt sorry for her! Sore back, can’t do anything simple like get out of bed easily! Boy, did she look uncomfortable – I thought she would drop the baby tonight or tomorrow!
So getting back to it, I feel happy yet I feel like I long to see Eve and hug him and talk to him.
I hope he still comes in tomorrow ….
I did the Retail Therapy today. Those two tops were still there and I had just enough money for them both :))
I’m tired. I better go to bed.
I’m cold.
I hate winter.
My birthday is in 13 days.
My car needs to be serviced.
I like my tops. Will look nice with skirt and boots.
I think I’m enjoying being me at the moment.
I saw the movie “The break up” What a stupid, waste of time that was. No it’s not a comedy. I found it quite disturbing and was going to walk out of it. I only stayed because I thought it would have a good ending – it didn’t. It made me walk out feeling like I had had been arguing and in a fight. Rather just have watched it!!!
I HATE ARGUMENTS!!!!! And people putting other people down or making the other person feel like crap. I really HATE it!!!!! The whole movie was based about that. It sucked really.
Not a nice movie at all.
Goodnight
posted by kaz at 7:23 PM
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