Opps.....Doooohhhh!

Ohhhh – I seem to have a foot in Mouth problem. This occurs regularly especially when I’m tired.
I was tired at 3pm yesterday. So it was obvious that I was a frumpy ball of “Huh??”.
After a beer and some Midori – I discovered how quickly it takes me to kill an introduction. (Enter my embarrassed & self-disbelief that I actually said it)
I had two of these moments last night.
To two people I don’t really know.
The second person was talking crap of some sort. Telling me that poets and Golfers were in the same “club” ??? Golf is perceived to be quite boring to not only me but to others I know. But I was surprised he said it and I said just as quickly
“You speak Shit” followed with “ – but that’s ok because I do too!” – quick try and save myself on a sinking life boat – but in the context of this conversation we were pretty much talking about nothing in particular and acknowledging the fact that we didn’t want to talk about anything “serious – because why do that” – Now also in my defence, if I didn’t think he would take it and laugh it off I wouldn’t of said it.
He was a little – surprised? That’s when I added up the follow up with a toast - but it was an intimate type of gig. Invites only and he was being an Irish puntz.
He had ever been to anything like it before but you can’t go to a venue like this and proceed to say that. Now I’m making a big deal out of it.
But only because my stupid conscious has decided that I’m a dick for saying it.
Oh well – I’ll just be thought of as that stupid girl whose mouth rambles out thoughtless crap before she has time to think about what she says.

But overall it was a great night. The intimacy of being a smaller crowd and the atmosphere was chilled/comfortable.
JT was great and so was the first guy who was on. Troy?
I wish I could play the guitar like that. I mean they have been playing for ten plus years. But it was so beautiful – a lot of finger plucking and softly strummed melodies. A bit of what seemed almost Irish like from the first guy.
Really nice.

Yesterday I felt really – sad.
Mk was positively glowing with excitement and love for Deb. There was a conversation at the end of the day about familys.
These two men amazed me with the passion and love they had for their kids.
I was stunned! I mean I know how Mk is with his kids loves them soooooooo much but so did this other guy! I really was surprised. I love being able to see that these men loved their kids so much and they were talking about it. And their partner or wife.
This leaded to silent streaming tears running down my face in the car on the way home.
I think what it was – (I feel myself getting a little choked up now) I’ve never felt love like that from any male besides my dog.
Never having the love of a stupid father who I didn’t actually want as a father.
Never having the “real” love of my ex boyfriend. He voiced that to me later on in the relationship. Great.
I’ve felt love on a different level but nothing like what I saw in these men.
I can only hope that someone loves me like that one day.
But I think even if they did I wouldn’t believe them.
So in my sad state of frumpiness, I went shopping. Yes - nothing like retail therapy (it’s a very real thing!) – I brought a bargain. Brown boots (again) knee high or can be folded over and the woollen lining would then show. They are sued winter boots. Nice, warm and comfortable.
I have also been looking for a white ¾ length jacket and I saw the exact one I wanted. A little expensive but If I can’t find a cheaper one today at the market then I’ll go back and get the other one tomorrow.
By the time I got to Ian’s I was feeling a bit better. I had gone with Shelly and we had dinner before hand. So it turned out to be a good night.
Although I was very tired. Today – I’m really tired.
But my desire to go shopping over rules …. For now.

Gareth came in yesterday for a hair cut. I didn’t cut his hair. He looked really good.