So this is life.
Ok. I'll start with my dream.My dream last night I woke up at 1.30 and had to write it down because I didn't want to forget it.
Well I was on this ship for the weekend, you stay on it every weekend until they find you a job then you have to leave, or you leave to go home during the week.
I'm alone, Most people know each other and they go off in to their rooms. Each room has two double beds.
I walk into a room, II see that there is one Asian couple in one bed and this tall blonde hair guy getting undressed about to go to bed.
Mind if I bunk hear.
"Yeah" Like he didn't care.
I get in and he lies down. It was all very natural he lay on his back and put one arm around me and I rested one arm on his chest. I close my eyes and we start to talking ( I can't remember about what) But I had my eyes closed because we were going to sleep.
After awhile I thought I want to see what he looks like.
I prop up on one elbow, he has a very white body, he has hairy legs,chest,arms(My ex boyfriends body but taller - nearly 6 foot)
He had brown hair about 4 inches long and a goatee (My cousins ex husbands hair and Jacks goatee but a little thicker) Clear blue eyes (Jacks) and smile (Jacks) Face like a guy I saw in a photo (on a blog). He spoke with an American accent.
Then in the morning he got up and out of bed and he changed. He's hair was blonde and he had no hair on his body (like Jacob I met while I was overseas.)
- Then we were on a floating piece of wood it was in the sea. We passed another floating piece of wood which an Asian man was holding This guy Troy (name of little sisters boyfriend who I don't overly like) tapped the china man on the shoulder and the piece of wood turned in to a gondola (like in Venice) and he steered it. There were a few floating china men and that was there job to float around till they get tapped by someone to steer the wood that turned in to a gondola (still follow?)
I thought this was funny and was laughing that that's what they do for a job!They sit around in the Sea waiting to get tapped!
Then it goes over time and were about four weeks in.
Troy and I start kissing in this bed on a ship he pulls me on top of him
I stopped and said"I'm a Christian - "
He accepted that and didn't take it any futher but because he accepted that I think I wanted him more.
I had to go to the toilet - In the dream - I wanted him but I was in a jam. What I wanted and being a Christian. I had to go to the toilet.
I was waiting for the toilet thinking I'm not going to have sex. But just in case I do I look at the condom.It's better without it, sex equals baby,condoms aren't 100% safe I want this guy, will I marry him? Probably not - but I really like him.
My father walked into the room where I was waiting to go to the toilet. He was 25 years younger in his dark blue work uniform. He told my brother to get off the toilet because I needed to go and was waiting. I was thinking I hope I don't leave Troy for to long and ruin the moment - I then woke up and had to go to the toilet.
End dream.
What the HELL WAS I THINKING!!!!
The guy "Troy" kept changing. He started off like Jack then he was like Elliott.
Sort of not caring to caring.
I woke up and wrote it down. I guess in struggling with that part of my faith. Two Christians I know have been together for six years and just got engaged - I don't think they ever slept with eachother.
Maybe that's why I had the dream...maybe.
So on to other News.
Sigh.
I got the
"Karen can we talk"
Ohh, last time she "talked" it wasn't that great.
Well this time it wasn't any better.
"I don't know how to say this - but we have to let you go"
"Really!"
She nodded
"Really!!??"
"Yeah"
"Why?"
"Well, it's just that we need some one on reception with more experience. We should have known that when we were interviewing. Your not that confident and clear on the phone"
" I did find it hard to be confident on the phone at the start because I didn't know what to say and I was told to be confident but how can I when I don't know what I'm going on about"
"Yeah, that's Why we really need some one with experience."
I didn't cry, for a split second I thought I might but I got over it.
She felt really bad doing it, I felt sorry for her!
She also mentioned that I wasn't "bubbley" I didn't say that since I started I was really sick and just managed to get through the day. My best day was Friday and I felt like I was starting to improve and getting the hang of the job.
I think it just sux that I stuffed up the phones three times in two or three days and it was all when my boss and Manager called to speak to the other manager of my office. Opps.
So I said good bye to everyone. I felt like I was just starting to get to know people because I was getting to know how to do the job. Yesterday for example it was one of the property managers Rostered day off. A tenenant of hers rang and told me that the hot water system had blown up and water was gushing out everywhere.
I had to call the Land lord get the ok which he said I'll call you back. I gave him nearly two hours when he said that he will call back in five minutes. I chased him back up and got the ok to get a plummer out. I then called a plummer and organized the quote and told him what he had to do because he hadn't done any jobs for the company and didn't know the procedure.
That is actually what property managers do.
That is there job.
I was told that I would be trained. I wasn't.
She said that they didn't have the time to train someone.
I think I was in shock. I've never been "let go" when I was actually improving.
I guess that's life.
I came home got my phone which I had left at home today and went to my room.
Again I didn't cry. I wasn't angry, I guess I was numb.
I lay on my bed thinking. I don't want to talk. Who do I tell?
I don't want to tell anyone. What should I do? Get drunk.
I got two messages one suprisingly was from the jobsearch place which I was in for awhile asking how I was going in my job? I wrote back. I just lost it today. Karen.
No reply.
The other one was from Jack saying he got the photo I sent on the weekend.(Doh!)
So I told him.
Let's go get drunk was the reply.
It's nice he had the thought but really it wasn't going to happen.
So I thought I'll go and do it myself, second thoughts I better save my money.
I ended up going to bible study which we pritty much sat around talked,laughed,had dinner,laughed, prayed and laughed.
I was glad I went. I got to see Fi and her little baby tummy. I'm sooooo excited for her. Shes due on April the second.
On the Job front. I felt like some of my energy had been sucked away but one door closes another one opens. If God didn't want me there he'll put me some where else.
I don't feel much. Numb still maybe. I guess I'm disappointed. I don't like feeling that way and I don't like to let people know that I get disappointed. It doesn't happen to often.
I wasn't disappointed when Jay and Ant didn't call. I expected that. I knew they wouldn't.
They called the next day. I didn't get Jays phone call but my phone dialled Ant's number in my bag when I didn't put it on key lock and he called me back.
We may go out tomorrow night to the Jangle gym. If he doesn't come I'll go by myself.
It will be good just to chill out and not worrie about having a late night. I don't have to get up early or anything now.
This is a really long post.
Well I was on this ship for the weekend, you stay on it every weekend until they find you a job then you have to leave, or you leave to go home during the week.
I'm alone, Most people know each other and they go off in to their rooms. Each room has two double beds.
I walk into a room, II see that there is one Asian couple in one bed and this tall blonde hair guy getting undressed about to go to bed.
Mind if I bunk hear.
"Yeah" Like he didn't care.
I get in and he lies down. It was all very natural he lay on his back and put one arm around me and I rested one arm on his chest. I close my eyes and we start to talking ( I can't remember about what) But I had my eyes closed because we were going to sleep.
After awhile I thought I want to see what he looks like.
I prop up on one elbow, he has a very white body, he has hairy legs,chest,arms(My ex boyfriends body but taller - nearly 6 foot)
He had brown hair about 4 inches long and a goatee (My cousins ex husbands hair and Jacks goatee but a little thicker) Clear blue eyes (Jacks) and smile (Jacks) Face like a guy I saw in a photo (on a blog). He spoke with an American accent.
Then in the morning he got up and out of bed and he changed. He's hair was blonde and he had no hair on his body (like Jacob I met while I was overseas.)
- Then we were on a floating piece of wood it was in the sea. We passed another floating piece of wood which an Asian man was holding This guy Troy (name of little sisters boyfriend who I don't overly like) tapped the china man on the shoulder and the piece of wood turned in to a gondola (like in Venice) and he steered it. There were a few floating china men and that was there job to float around till they get tapped by someone to steer the wood that turned in to a gondola (still follow?)
I thought this was funny and was laughing that that's what they do for a job!They sit around in the Sea waiting to get tapped!
Then it goes over time and were about four weeks in.
Troy and I start kissing in this bed on a ship he pulls me on top of him
I stopped and said"I'm a Christian - "
He accepted that and didn't take it any futher but because he accepted that I think I wanted him more.
I had to go to the toilet - In the dream - I wanted him but I was in a jam. What I wanted and being a Christian. I had to go to the toilet.
I was waiting for the toilet thinking I'm not going to have sex. But just in case I do I look at the condom.It's better without it, sex equals baby,condoms aren't 100% safe I want this guy, will I marry him? Probably not - but I really like him.
My father walked into the room where I was waiting to go to the toilet. He was 25 years younger in his dark blue work uniform. He told my brother to get off the toilet because I needed to go and was waiting. I was thinking I hope I don't leave Troy for to long and ruin the moment - I then woke up and had to go to the toilet.
End dream.
What the HELL WAS I THINKING!!!!
The guy "Troy" kept changing. He started off like Jack then he was like Elliott.
Sort of not caring to caring.
I woke up and wrote it down. I guess in struggling with that part of my faith. Two Christians I know have been together for six years and just got engaged - I don't think they ever slept with eachother.
Maybe that's why I had the dream...maybe.
So on to other News.
Sigh.
I got the
"Karen can we talk"
Ohh, last time she "talked" it wasn't that great.
Well this time it wasn't any better.
"I don't know how to say this - but we have to let you go"
"Really!"
She nodded
"Really!!??"
"Yeah"
"Why?"
"Well, it's just that we need some one on reception with more experience. We should have known that when we were interviewing. Your not that confident and clear on the phone"
" I did find it hard to be confident on the phone at the start because I didn't know what to say and I was told to be confident but how can I when I don't know what I'm going on about"
"Yeah, that's Why we really need some one with experience."
I didn't cry, for a split second I thought I might but I got over it.
She felt really bad doing it, I felt sorry for her!
She also mentioned that I wasn't "bubbley" I didn't say that since I started I was really sick and just managed to get through the day. My best day was Friday and I felt like I was starting to improve and getting the hang of the job.
I think it just sux that I stuffed up the phones three times in two or three days and it was all when my boss and Manager called to speak to the other manager of my office. Opps.
So I said good bye to everyone. I felt like I was just starting to get to know people because I was getting to know how to do the job. Yesterday for example it was one of the property managers Rostered day off. A tenenant of hers rang and told me that the hot water system had blown up and water was gushing out everywhere.
I had to call the Land lord get the ok which he said I'll call you back. I gave him nearly two hours when he said that he will call back in five minutes. I chased him back up and got the ok to get a plummer out. I then called a plummer and organized the quote and told him what he had to do because he hadn't done any jobs for the company and didn't know the procedure.
That is actually what property managers do.
That is there job.
I was told that I would be trained. I wasn't.
She said that they didn't have the time to train someone.
I think I was in shock. I've never been "let go" when I was actually improving.
I guess that's life.
I came home got my phone which I had left at home today and went to my room.
Again I didn't cry. I wasn't angry, I guess I was numb.
I lay on my bed thinking. I don't want to talk. Who do I tell?
I don't want to tell anyone. What should I do? Get drunk.
I got two messages one suprisingly was from the jobsearch place which I was in for awhile asking how I was going in my job? I wrote back. I just lost it today. Karen.
No reply.
The other one was from Jack saying he got the photo I sent on the weekend.(Doh!)
So I told him.
Let's go get drunk was the reply.
It's nice he had the thought but really it wasn't going to happen.
So I thought I'll go and do it myself, second thoughts I better save my money.
I ended up going to bible study which we pritty much sat around talked,laughed,had dinner,laughed, prayed and laughed.
I was glad I went. I got to see Fi and her little baby tummy. I'm sooooo excited for her. Shes due on April the second.
On the Job front. I felt like some of my energy had been sucked away but one door closes another one opens. If God didn't want me there he'll put me some where else.
I don't feel much. Numb still maybe. I guess I'm disappointed. I don't like feeling that way and I don't like to let people know that I get disappointed. It doesn't happen to often.
I wasn't disappointed when Jay and Ant didn't call. I expected that. I knew they wouldn't.
They called the next day. I didn't get Jays phone call but my phone dialled Ant's number in my bag when I didn't put it on key lock and he called me back.
We may go out tomorrow night to the Jangle gym. If he doesn't come I'll go by myself.
It will be good just to chill out and not worrie about having a late night. I don't have to get up early or anything now.
This is a really long post.
posted by kaz at 12:30 AM
2 Comments:
That was depressing in the end, can not believe they would let you go when you were improving?! The beginning part I enjoyed, can I pretend that you were dreaming about me?
I hope all is well come tomorrow with you, I'll send you a email this Thursday - got a suggestion but first I got to check something out.
:))) LOL!!!
I don't know!I think it was about five different guys in one!
I took the good parts I like in those guys then make up the guy in my dream. When I re read it the guy had brown hair that turned blonde, Then I named him after some one I didn't like.LOL!
I'll post about the job.
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