Friday, April 08, 2005

Not this little black duck!

Well today was eventful.
I had a good day yesterday. I found out what happened to the girl I was hired to replace and what happened to the girl before her. One lasted six months and the other four.
Everything I had bottled up came out yesterday to the two other girls because they were getting things off their mind too.
As it turns out my thoughts and their words were exactly the same, Boss is controlling, doesn’t listen and puts people down.
So in short Boss and I had a talk today and she was rude, insulting, arguementive and she was at times getting teary. I guess she was thinking – another one!! (Has left)
I explained where I was coming from and how I felt. She interrupted me all the time, cut me off and in the end I said “ Can you see what your doing? What your saying? How you’re saying this? Can you see how this can have a confidence crushing affect?!”
I tried to get her to see where I’m coming from “ Put your self in my position. How do you think I would feel hearing you say that?”
This is all coming from me.
Anyway I did my last two clients and left at four fifteen. There’s no way I let someone walk over me like that. Other people may think that they will grin and bare it but I’d rather walk away then have some one be all high and mighty and look down on you. Stand up for yourself, yeah I knew it wasn’t going to work so I was prepared for my saying “I’m giving you notice.”
I could get a job back where I was under new management but I’ll figure that one out next week. It’s going to be a hot weekend so I want to enjoy it.
I have Gooseys 21st tomorrow night, and a street meeting Sunday.
It feels nice knowing that I’m not working at that salon now with that Boss and our “Strong personalty clash” which “just isn’t going to work.”
Yeah, I don’t relate well to overpowering, control tripping , rude insulting people.
So now I’m off to go to do my street work.
Now that’s something I love doing and look forward to doing it!
1.45 Am
Street was great! I was thinking back it would soon be two years that I have been involved on street. I was talking to a “street friend” tonight and we were saying how far we have come in two years. He’s still on dope but he’s got it together a bit more, He’s not so scattered and angry at the world.
I look around at the others. Some have moved on, some are the same and some are still trying to get out of the rut.
I look at the other volunteers and see how they have journeyed since I met them.
One guy, Mario has I think a new found confidence which is so great to see and he also has a girlfriend so that could be why too!
People are forever changing. Views, morals, way of thinking.
It would be dull if they didn’t.
My views have changed. Views on a lot of things. Some good , some not so good.
My lifestyle. I shake my head when I think of my life even 5 years ago.
How being with someone can alter the person you become for good and bad.
I think if I stayed on the same path I was on five years ago I’d be all the worse for it. Scary thought.
I wasn’t a Christian for one. Well not quite.
I wonder where I’d be if I didn’t make that choice? That’s important, it keeps a perspective on life which I wouldn’t in any other way would have had.
I have choices to make now with my life. I find people around me help keep me accountable.

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