A Rant, A Vent and now I feel - Ok

Sheesssshhhh,,,,,,
I’m too tired to get into all the details of the past week but they will come believe me!
I’ve been sick for a week and a half and still ongoing. And … I’m still at work this week.
I shouldn’t be. I feel like crud.

I’ve finally got a new lap top and it’s a lot better then my old one.
I’ve missed my blog… posting…. It’s really like a mental outlet. Somewhere to let out my thoughts. Feels good. Makes me feel more like me again – So to speak.
I‘ve been writing in a journal but no one reads that – well there not meant to and I don’t hold back – again so to speak.
But I like my blog.
I like reading everyone elces too!!! I found myself wondering how Scott was with his schooling/job and how Sara was with her pregnancy… I think I’ve got a little involved in Blogging… But hey that’s me.

Ok well hear it is work wise.
It’s been terrible.
The woman who sits behind me, for some unbeknown reason hates me.
I have tried my hardest, gone the extra mile have tried everything and yet she still treats me like a dirty mat that she takes pried in to walk over me.
It has almost demolished any confidence in myself and made me feel guilty, a liar and a bad person. I’ve got nothing to feel guilty about! Ok so I was caught by her using the Internet for less then FIVE MINUTES using my email. I have felt so guilty that I can’t bear to even log on to the Internet because I feel guilty!!! Even if it is in my own time! Because that day I hadn’t had a lunch break, I had completely done EVERYTHING AND I had looked for things to do – nothing was to be done.
When she “caught me” she said “ Karen. You should do that in your own time.”
I told her that I had completed everything and was all up to date AND I had NO LUNCH!!!!
I think she was surprised that I responded, as I usually don’t talk. At all.
“It dosen’t matter. It still doesn’t look good”
“Ok”
“I won’t tell Jean (the boss) about this”
“You won’t?”
“No”
Huh???? Like hell you won’t!!!!!! I know she told everyone.
I knew that I wasn’t meant to be on personal email at work but it’s less then five minutes!!!
I put it down to her being on a power trip.
She does that quite often.
I had from last Tuesday till Friday off and I could only work for an hour on Saturday before I had to go home. I was really sick.
Anyway. Tonight – fifteen minutes before the end of the day. I wrote a text message – again everything was up to date and completed. Nick just a guy who works under Jane (mean woman) He says “Oh – Kaz – texting in work hours, You should be working…” I glare at him. Because of the situation. Jane could hear him he practally told the whole office- just being funny. Now he’s a nice guy so when he saw my face he quickly followed it up with “ I’m just joking!!!”
I shake my head.
“Don’t you start.” I said warningly.
“It’s a joke!” He laughed, I smiled.
I said it quite loudly. Once I said it I thought Jane heard me – I don’t care.

This job is doing my head in.
It’s mind numbing. It’s boring and hears the catch. I work for my boss – Jean.
If I was to get promoted I would be working under Jane. She has made it clear – what I think is that she doesn’t want me in her “team”.
Some team!! They bitch about everyone!!! And it happens as soon as they walk out the door!!!
I have come back through that door two times and once they had to tell me that they were talking about me because it was just too obvious. Jane was standing up talking to everyone and I walk in and it stops.
So I was told about that one. The other one – You just know.
So it’s been pretty hard.
I’m worth more then my scummy wage and brain dead job.
I want more, but do I really want it there??
Being sick and not being able to go out has really got to me too.

I wanted to go to all these things and I have no energy to.
It’s a little better today but I can’t walk around for more then ten minutes without sitting down to rest.
Sux but oh well.
This is a really long post.

I brought a new Guitar! Josh has been put under my bed to be brought out on occasions and my new guitar has taken over.
I love it!!!! I haven’t been able to play it much due to my 24/7 headache but it sounds soooo nice J


I feel like I’ve vented.
I feel better.

When I wasn’t sick about three weeks ago I met this Irish guy Ian – I think I mentioned him. Well his friend (also from Ireland) Dave has arrived too.
I’ve seen Ian around a few times and I showed him some of my writing. He kept saying he wanted to see it – so I did. He was really positive and gave me confidence.
He also gave constructive citizen. Which was also needed.
I’ve been writing heaps.
I’ve got a melody that I like but can’t get the words out just yet.
There’s talk that Dave and I will possibly meet up and bounce ideas off each other…
Would be good considering that Maz has gone for a walk and fell off the face of the earth. Stupid girlfriend – can’t jamm with him now! - but I understand.

Being friends with travellers is good cos nothing can ever happen as you always know that they are Travellers.

I drank about two litres of Orange Juice today. Maybe more….mmm Orange Juice….

Arrhhh….my little computer how I missed you ;)