Poetry and Juzzie reflections

My brains gone into over load! I have sooo much to think about! So much to say, so much to do and I want to do it all now!
Things I have on my mind:
- Real Estate license
- My street work, organizing social nights and stuff
- My article I have yet to write for magazine
- Poetry and words, that seem to be screaming to come out
- My guitar ( oh how I love it)
- fitness
- working full time and trying to keep my head above water with the bills
All together sprinkled with my thoughts on how I can somehow be some sort of positive impact on this street kid who I seem to adore. Juzzie.
doesn't help that I'm caffeine sensitive and seem to be wide eyed and strangely can't stop some sort of movement and I can hear my heart beating seemingly faster then normal. Gotta love those "V" drinks.
I'm thinking about Juzzie because the police chased after him last Wednesday and caught him. I don't know what he did but I'm yet to find out.
I went home and had a dream about him. We were sitting on the steps and talking and he was telling stuff about his family. I don't remember what but he was talking non stop. I'm smiling looking at the little boy who just needs to be loved and given a chance.
Dream stops and goes off on different tangent.
I can't remember what.
I think I dreamt this because something that warms my heart is that Juzzie is a kid who likes the whole "street feeling". Being in the "click" with the other street kids BUT one big thing that I saw that happened ( well I found it to be big)
was that there was this girl about 19yo and her boyfriend. They are both "streeties".
Juzzie puts on the act.
"Hi guys!"
"Ooww! Juzzie! Hi sweetheart!" She leans over to him to hug him. I watch his reaction. He steps away, eyes widen reluctantly pats her back - he's really quite obviously uncomfortable.
A bit later he's sitting down, she sits next to him, moves into his personal space.
In a flash he's at least a meter away from her.
This is the "click" he's being associated with.
I guess I feel for him because I look to him as a little boy with a huge "Street act"
and he values my opinion of him.
He controls himself around me. He doesn't try to put on his "act" he seems to be a little kid when I talk to him where his a little hard, bad arse street kid to others.
I'm glad he smiles when he sees me. I feel love when we hug to say hello, it feels real. I want to be a positive impact in some small way in his life.
Now my guitar. I've been having 3am chords and writing sessions.
It's something which I'm not good at but enjoy doing.
My mind races.
Stupid men in my life.
The boxing things good. It's fun, a little embarrassing when there's cute guys taking the class and you find yourself smiling and stuffing up. Typical!
The upcoming emerging writer's festival. I'm leaving work early to check out a few different talks and things. I'm really excited and looking forward to it!
You always seem to leave those things inspired and revived.
I don't know if I'll ever get to show my stuff to anyone. Play my guitar in front of anyone or do anything like that. It's not that I don't have confidence cos I could read someone else's writing but - well I guess...- maybe... - ok so no confidence in that respect for my own writing/poetry/songs but I just like doing it.
Ha - it's easy to blog it but I know that I'd just get embarrassed if I did something like that. Show it to anyone that is.