A trip down memory lane - an insight to me because i want to

Well it's 1.45am and I up drinking hot tea which soothes my throate. I wanted honey but were out :(
I've got a feaver. I'm so hot and sweaty then I get up and I freeze!
I debated about going out and buying some but I'll wait till morning.
Every breath I take is ripping down my throate and swallowing is near impossable but cos it's so dry i need a drink then I have to swallow and hence - I can't sleep and feel like crud.
I was talking to Rusty tonight and he offered to come round and cook me a decent meal. I laughed it off and said that I don't want to infect him.
"Nah- that's ok, I'll be fine"
I ignored the comment and changed the subject.
( I just scractched behind my head and to the side a bit - guess what I found?? more lumps!!! I've got glands popping up everywhere!!!!)
I had a blood test today, I told the woman doing it that I have extreamly hard to get vains and I've been told to tell other people to use a butterfly needle.
She had a go with a normal needle and missed by a mile!!!
I could of done a better job myself!!!
I then went somewhere elce and they used a smaller needle and it was fine.
"Next time just come straight to us - we get all their patients after they have had a go at them."
Great. Wish I knew that BEFORE I waited for ever and got jabbed by someone with there eyes closed!!!
I should be asleep.
I'm not working when I'm sick and now I don't feel to bad about it.

I colored my hair in an attempt to put some color into my face. I was sick of looking pasty and sick.
Now I look pasty and sick but with different color hair.

Valentines day tomorrow. Well actually, today being that it's 2am.
I was going to go out to a poetry night that sounded like fun.
Now, i'm stuck at home.

My brother asked who have I been kissing? To get a sore throate ect..
No one! I shared a drink about four weeks ago but I'm sure that dosn't count.
I'm really half harted about Rusty comming round to "help".
I don't want to have someone I have to talk to and make conversation with when all I want to do is watch M*A*S*H.
He want's so help and that's nice but I'm not the best of company when I'm sick.

I just got a memory. When I was sick and my ex made me honey and lemon drinks, got out pillows and put them on the couch, tucked me in like a coocoon, gave me greek soup that his mum had made then he would cuddle up next to me and we would just sit and watch T.V.
It was that warm compleate feeling.
But he's an ex for a reason but you don't forget the nice memories.
Another nice moment which is like a picture in my head but I can see it as clear as day. Eve skiped/ran ish onto the couch and jumped on got him self comfortable then looked at me and smiled. That was before the first night together.

It's moments like these that make me smile :)

Another memoriable moment, Is when I intentionally wanted to make a memory.
My memory turned out to be my horse covered in sweat that had semi dried. I rub my hand hard on her back and neck and inhale her smell. I kiss her soft sweaty mussel and she throws her head up still in state of shock.
I go back to her back kiss it and tell her "I love you, I'm sorry - I love you"
Kiss her again on her back and I turn and walk to my car.
She was put down on the side of the freeway in a floating accident.
That was 3 years ago.

I think this feels like a memory post.
Another memory - walking to the when I was thirteen in a hospital.
I walked over to the basin where there was a mirror. I looked up and saw the damage.
I still remember the feeling. I looked - oh well. Feeling of move on.
Years later my mum told me of her memory of that moment and she said
"You didn't cry, You weren't upset - You made me so proud"
Half my face was ripped up and so swollen that you couldn't see that I had an eye.
My mum had compared it with the "elephant man". I didn't know what she meant at the time but years later I saw a picture of the "elephant man" and didn't see the resemblance.
That was a horse riding accident.

This is a bit of an insight, well at least it's taken my mind off my throate.

A happy memory Riding my horses.
Going out with Thea and running a muck.

Embarrassing moment???
Takes a bit to embarrass me, I can't think of anything at the moment.

I need another drink of hot tea. I can't be bothered making one.
I hate being sick.

I like thinking about happy memories. Life changing ones too.

Spell check isn't working. This is a long post with lot's of spelling mistakes but I'm a bit over the whole spell thing if you can't tell.
2.50am