I feel unsettled because of last night.
Well - my Saturday took an unexpected turn.
I didn't end up going to the CD launch. I would of had to drive for an hour and a half to get there and I've pritty much run out of petrol and money.
We had a bon fire, music and alcohol.
I haven't been drunk for soooooo long because I couldn't afford it and I was usually driver.
I ended up staying the night. Ohhhh....
I felt like a heartless bitch last night.
I think because I truly don't want a boyfriend of any sort it's just great being able just to be myself and have fun.
One conversation I had with Aussie was about relationships.
"I just don't want to be tied down - I'm to young" (he just broke up with his girlfriend. He's 21 she was 20)
"I wish all guys thought like you"
Then we went on to discuss the positives of being single. And there's heaps.
"I don't actually want anyone, if someone asked me out I'd say no. I'm really just not interested."
"Really? What about one night stands?"
"NO, I'm not into that sort of thing at all. I mean I'll kiss someone and it won't mean anything right now, flirt and you know that sort of stuff but I don't want anything else. No thinking about another person, no answering to another person, doing what you want. I'm loving just being single and just being me"
"Yep, me too. Just being able to do what ever you want to do. So if someone wanted to kiss you, it would mean nothing?"
"Yeah, Nothing"
He smiles his drunken smile "I'm not going to kiss you"
I laughed "good"
Oh, Elliott.... I think we are on the same wave length. I think...
Right now Bluey (Elliotts younger brother) is sleeping off the vast amount of alcohol he drunk ALL yesterday, last night AND this morning till about 8am. He was a right mess. NEVER again will I ever want to see him in that state. I had to scrape him up off the ground three times, bring him down for breakfast, help him to wash his hands, run his burnt hand under cold water as he burnt himself on the BBQ getting breakfast he stumbled around for awhile before he got changed into his bed shorts then came out impersonating Mr Bean or someone by pulling his shorts up around his chest, did that for awhile and I had to put him to bed.
I tucked him in,
"I'll lll beee oout in a minnute" he slured
I inspected the damage he has down to himself burnt hand, blood nose ( fell over flat on his face - blood everywhere) infected finger (from work) and he looked a mess.
"No, you can stay hear and go to sleep."
I sat with him for a minute or two. Looking at his wounds.
He was fast asleep about 1 minute after I shut the door to the room.
That was just way too drunk and I hate it how his "friends" tell him to do stupid things like "Lick your hands" - They were COVERED in BLOOD and MUD! Gross.
It just got past amusing.
All in all I had a good night not much sleep...
About two hours. On and off.
I woke up with an uneasy feeling in my stomach today. It was regret, guilt and a little unsettling.`I guess living up to your own morals is easier said then done.
I didn't do anything bad as such... I just felt unsettled. Persistence doesn't always pay off. Sometimes it's unsettling.
But that aside I had a good night. I ended up staying because it got too late and I was just to tired to go and drive all the way out to the other side of the city. I got drunk and felt kinda seedy. Ugh.
I think everyone had a good time.
Hears a thing NEVER UNDERESTIMATE INDEPENDENCE IN AND OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't end up going to the CD launch. I would of had to drive for an hour and a half to get there and I've pritty much run out of petrol and money.
We had a bon fire, music and alcohol.
I haven't been drunk for soooooo long because I couldn't afford it and I was usually driver.
I ended up staying the night. Ohhhh....
I felt like a heartless bitch last night.
I think because I truly don't want a boyfriend of any sort it's just great being able just to be myself and have fun.
One conversation I had with Aussie was about relationships.
"I just don't want to be tied down - I'm to young" (he just broke up with his girlfriend. He's 21 she was 20)
"I wish all guys thought like you"
Then we went on to discuss the positives of being single. And there's heaps.
"I don't actually want anyone, if someone asked me out I'd say no. I'm really just not interested."
"Really? What about one night stands?"
"NO, I'm not into that sort of thing at all. I mean I'll kiss someone and it won't mean anything right now, flirt and you know that sort of stuff but I don't want anything else. No thinking about another person, no answering to another person, doing what you want. I'm loving just being single and just being me"
"Yep, me too. Just being able to do what ever you want to do. So if someone wanted to kiss you, it would mean nothing?"
"Yeah, Nothing"
He smiles his drunken smile "I'm not going to kiss you"
I laughed "good"
Oh, Elliott.... I think we are on the same wave length. I think...
Right now Bluey (Elliotts younger brother) is sleeping off the vast amount of alcohol he drunk ALL yesterday, last night AND this morning till about 8am. He was a right mess. NEVER again will I ever want to see him in that state. I had to scrape him up off the ground three times, bring him down for breakfast, help him to wash his hands, run his burnt hand under cold water as he burnt himself on the BBQ getting breakfast he stumbled around for awhile before he got changed into his bed shorts then came out impersonating Mr Bean or someone by pulling his shorts up around his chest, did that for awhile and I had to put him to bed.
I tucked him in,
"I'll lll beee oout in a minnute" he slured
I inspected the damage he has down to himself burnt hand, blood nose ( fell over flat on his face - blood everywhere) infected finger (from work) and he looked a mess.
"No, you can stay hear and go to sleep."
I sat with him for a minute or two. Looking at his wounds.
He was fast asleep about 1 minute after I shut the door to the room.
That was just way too drunk and I hate it how his "friends" tell him to do stupid things like "Lick your hands" - They were COVERED in BLOOD and MUD! Gross.
It just got past amusing.
All in all I had a good night not much sleep...
About two hours. On and off.
I woke up with an uneasy feeling in my stomach today. It was regret, guilt and a little unsettling.`I guess living up to your own morals is easier said then done.
I didn't do anything bad as such... I just felt unsettled. Persistence doesn't always pay off. Sometimes it's unsettling.
But that aside I had a good night. I ended up staying because it got too late and I was just to tired to go and drive all the way out to the other side of the city. I got drunk and felt kinda seedy. Ugh.
I think everyone had a good time.
Hears a thing NEVER UNDERESTIMATE INDEPENDENCE IN AND OUT OF A RELATIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!
posted by kaz at 3:23 PM
3 Comments:
I'm in agreement. Relationships suck. But a one night stand now and then...
That wasn't the inspirational message I was after! but then again...;)
Life, Before Serotonin
Wish I could get on with it,
so I didn't have to sit around
and think of what it was
I wanted to forget
or remember
or want,
and get a dream to live in.
waiting
Cha, cha.
Like so much hot pastrami
Sliced thin.
resting, resting, resting
Gone.
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