The problem with Ex's...
This study stuff is hard!
I've been pritty good but I only seem to be motivated at night and late afternoon.
I've got a sore neck in need of massaging, sore back and my legs are feeling like they want to go for a run for about 10km!
But yet I sit and continue to learn this brain numbing crap which hopefully at the end will reward me with earning lots of money so I can save up, pay debts and do what ever I please.
The country life up hear is...Quiet. Away from everything. I haven't been home all week and I didn't go to street works. I feel like I need to go in and live it up for awhile.
I feel like I'm having with withdrawals from the city! I want to be able to snap my fingers and be in the heart of the city. The busyness, the people who do their people things. Where you don't know anyone but the feeling of being comfortable is all around.
I miss the people from street works. It's only been a week! But I feel like I miss them. Especially since I know that I won't be going again till Friday.
I was going to go check out a country church tonight but sleep seemed like a better option.
Now I have to go back and study.
I'm doing a test tomorrow and handing in an assignment.
One down three to go.
I've been thinking about my ex a little today. Funny how certain smells remind you of a person. I had a flash back. I smelt this oil, which is meant to be "Romantic massage oil" It just smelt like ceederwood and stale smelling oil.
The flash back was when I'd give him a massage in the lounge room,on the floor, warm room, 1/2 hour massage.
The rush that you feel when you your touching someone you love. The ten minute massage in return followed by passionate sex.
When your both feeling the intense love between you, being so close your
- then it stops.
Memory turns blank, blackened with darkness.
His voice stops my emotions. He's words come back, they are permanently burned in my mind.
"I will never love you as much as you love me"
followed with "That's just how it is. Someone in the relationship always loves the other more"
I open my eyes. Memory over. I'm left with this hurt feeling, like someone has just stepped on your heart, gave it back to you then - hang on , oh,I've missed a bit stamp on it some more then hand it to you all deflated and as flat as a tack.
I'll never forget those words. I don't want to believe it.
He didn't say those words in that moment. He said it in conversation one time.
All my memories of him are finished with those words.
Why bring up memories?
Well look what I've done gone off on a tangent.
I have to really go and study.
I've been pritty good but I only seem to be motivated at night and late afternoon.
I've got a sore neck in need of massaging, sore back and my legs are feeling like they want to go for a run for about 10km!
But yet I sit and continue to learn this brain numbing crap which hopefully at the end will reward me with earning lots of money so I can save up, pay debts and do what ever I please.
The country life up hear is...Quiet. Away from everything. I haven't been home all week and I didn't go to street works. I feel like I need to go in and live it up for awhile.
I feel like I'm having with withdrawals from the city! I want to be able to snap my fingers and be in the heart of the city. The busyness, the people who do their people things. Where you don't know anyone but the feeling of being comfortable is all around.
I miss the people from street works. It's only been a week! But I feel like I miss them. Especially since I know that I won't be going again till Friday.
I was going to go check out a country church tonight but sleep seemed like a better option.
Now I have to go back and study.
I'm doing a test tomorrow and handing in an assignment.
One down three to go.
I've been thinking about my ex a little today. Funny how certain smells remind you of a person. I had a flash back. I smelt this oil, which is meant to be "Romantic massage oil" It just smelt like ceederwood and stale smelling oil.
The flash back was when I'd give him a massage in the lounge room,on the floor, warm room, 1/2 hour massage.
The rush that you feel when you your touching someone you love. The ten minute massage in return followed by passionate sex.
When your both feeling the intense love between you, being so close your
- then it stops.
Memory turns blank, blackened with darkness.
His voice stops my emotions. He's words come back, they are permanently burned in my mind.
"I will never love you as much as you love me"
followed with "That's just how it is. Someone in the relationship always loves the other more"
I open my eyes. Memory over. I'm left with this hurt feeling, like someone has just stepped on your heart, gave it back to you then - hang on , oh,I've missed a bit stamp on it some more then hand it to you all deflated and as flat as a tack.
I'll never forget those words. I don't want to believe it.
He didn't say those words in that moment. He said it in conversation one time.
All my memories of him are finished with those words.
Why bring up memories?
Well look what I've done gone off on a tangent.
I have to really go and study.
posted by kaz at 2:45 PM
1 Comments:
It's always good to go into a a tangent and air things that you usually keep bottle up inside. Do that enough and you will turn into a bitter man like me! Love hurts more when the other party does not feel the same way you do.
I have come to like reading your blog to, and also the posts you have put on mine.
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